Happy 21st!

I met with a guy today who gave me a sense of impression really like another guy I was friend with. This guy is originally from Shanghai. He works with me in the Racing course last time. He was wordless, disconsolate, lose himself in life; whereas daring, as in asking my number in the first time we met. I felt sorry for inviting him to my birthday party, because he did not like the theme of music played (Cuban Latin dance music). Having tried several times to initiate his interest to talk with my friends, yet his disposition made others hard to engage with. When he left alone to a R&B club in Crown Casino, a dispossessed feeling came up to my heart for his loneliness. Actually for the whole night I was longing for him to turn up, for he is a reflection of my once friend. It has always been sad to see someone was living in a myth, but you just stand aside and could not offer any help and watch them sin. As I have been reminding myself not be swayed by effusive emotion to the others; however this soft spot had made me take up others responsibilities which are unnecessary. Anyway, I am not a savoir. My own problems could stack me to suffocate; I should and could not take on those beyond my ability.

“Rush” is the word I can think about to describe my first day of being a true adult. Lina was late for meeting up, so the whole day schedule was put off. On top of that, the French restaurant we chose to have dinner took ages to serve a meal. We could not even slowly enjoy our fancy yet costly meal. I scoffed the French toasted duck meat within 10 min and left half a glass of Sauvignon Blanc not finish. The time handed at 9pm, we buzzed off losing our “fine dinner” attitude! I knew I am running late to the place that was on the other side of the city, I use my internal turbo to get dress and ready to go only in half an hour!

“Vacuity” is another word for my feeling of today. Even though there were 10+ friends came to say “Happy Birthday”, the wishes from those I was longing for never came. Well deserve! Different from those 小鸟依人kind of girlies, I have a too strong feminine character. For a girl like me, who gives people impression that I am independent enough to take care my own without any soul supports. Sad hurh? In fact, we are the most vulnerable species that need most of the help from others.

Materialist is not my character. There was no excitement when I opened my gift. I most prefer to open an email with blessing messages or a phone call from overseas, someone from my family. Goods cannot last forever, only a heart could remain infinity.

After 21st, the rest of age-changed will be no meaning except for stamping a year older on your face as well as on your heart. My wish for the new page in life: determine a life goal and strike for it; be happy always; find a job; and be passionate.