Where are my companionships?

The newly refurnished basement female toilet in Union Hose is gross. Painted in bright red, it looks like nothing but the prostitute houses on Lygon St. I am ashamed of Melbourne Uni planners for approving such a four-month long distasteful renovation. Where are those intelligent interior designer?

I was caught up with one of my friend - a lady who back to study a linguistic diploma after ten years graduated from Uni – and had a long talk with her this afternoon. As she was much older than me, I would like to talk to her about life perspective. After talking with her, I felt scary. I don’t want to become someone like her: mid-30s, unemployed, worked in a TAB for five years, struggle to find a teaching job at the primary level, … I know graduate with a bachelor degree gives me nothing except a title to enter the workforce. There are so many qualified and talented competitors out there; and I know I will never match up myself with them, even if I continue to study. There are two folds in the modern society: a talent waste versus furious competition. The position like reception also requires the candidate with a degree! Sometimes I feel very pessimistic towards the unreasonable world. But, nothing is reasonable these days and I have to survive with spirit. I have a rough idea that I will leave this country before 25. Three years should be enough for me to get a world passport and save some money to venture out for the next unknown destination.

I have a feeling that I need a companionship. A lot of time, I feel really lonely but there is no one around. I haven’t met great people since second-half of my 2nd year. Now in my third year, once-friends are either busy with their study or maintain relationship commitment, we can not get back to the life style we had in our 1st year. Maybe that is why I have to make myself busy to forgive myself for not enjoying life, and to cover my loneliness feeling. I have friends who like similar things as mine, but unfortunately, they are not sitting besides me in this depressed city. They left one after another. I want to --- in three years time!