A New Journey

Thousands of words with no hints where I should start, I will just follow my random thoughts to put down rumbling words.

I have spent the past two weeks with K in Malaysia and Singapore, EVERYDAY. For three plus years, I have been pushing him away while I was seeing other guys; I don't want to get hurt. I know him too well. Yet, he is the one I turn to for advice, he is the one I watched most of the movies with, he is the one I spent most of my weekends with, and he is the one who makes me laugh freely and teases with no mercy. We share the same hobby, love outdoor, enjoy musicals, and rebel from the conventional way. Will this work? I don't want to think too much – things come at their own paces. At such a young age, we both love to play.

I could say I am scared in this new relationship. I am not a dreamer and I don't believe in fairy tale; I love to hear promises and nice words but worried about the short-life passionate of love. After all, passion of love will fade and what is left is real and hard life.

In my 24 years, I can say I have been through a lot of hardships. However, deep in my heart, I want to have a home – no need to be a big house but a place where I know my love ones are and will always be there for me. I am not unpatriotic, yet I really don't feel home while I was in GZ with my parents. I am tough and capable of taking care of myself; I am sure I will get moving again.

Will I work in Beijing for the Olympic project? If you ask me this question one year ago, I would say “Yes.” However, now I have to think twice. What sort of life do I want and how heavy is the family baggage is given to me? i