New beginning

Last week I was extremely busy and under the pump, everyday was just “go go go” and “buy buy buy”. I went shopping almost everyday. Not every girl loves shopping, especially when it becomes a task not an enjoyment. Money flows out even faster than a flood and I slept in exhaustion after trying to put things in order in the “mad house”. I have never thought I would come back Melbourne and resettle in again; now I have to start everything from ground zero.

My work place was quite a distant away from my new place. I have to wake up early in cold winter mornings and dash to the tram stop, followed by hurdling across to Flinder Station to catch the train. To make the matter worse, Melbourne public transport totally sucks; I am putting up with delay, cancel, no show trains and trams. Everyday I reach home with great frustration. I am getting a car anyhow, otherwise I will die of stroke before I turn 30.

My heart was aching after dad told me that his tumors may get bigger this round. I hate the feeling of reading test results – it is like reading one’s own death sentence. I feel even worse when I meet with grandma. She knows nothing but keep putting pressure on me; I find it so hard to start a conversation with her. My tears still burst out every time dad’s voice echoes in my ears and my heart hurts when grandma’s sad energy is coming at me. I don't need them to take care of me – I have been on my own for years – I just hope that dad could hold on for as long as he can.