Very upset, sick and lonely

For a very long time, I haven’t been this sick – throat ache, aching muscles, dizziness, mild fever and fatigue. Indeed, I have not been any better since I came back to Melbourne. Yes, I have got a job, so what? I may be better off staying home with my parents. At least I would be taken care of when I am not well. I could also spend some time with my ailing father. I just can’t wait for the day I can leave this city, hopefully forever.

The gloomy side of me slowly kills off my laughter and wits. My skin and smiles are purely a shell. For as long as I can remember, I was thrown in the dark, struggling to survive, hinge to the edge of life at some stage. I was made to stand on my own feet, venture out to seek for a new life, and try to take care of others. No one really understands the emotional stress I have been withstanding. To add salt to the wound, I was blamed by a lot of things. I would rather be leaving alone, clasping to a frail lifeline on my own than being surrounding by people who expect anonymous things from me.