New beginning

Last week I was extremely busy and under the pump, everyday was just “go go go” and “buy buy buy”. I went shopping almost everyday. Not every girl loves shopping, especially when it becomes a task not an enjoyment. Money flows out even faster than a flood and I slept in exhaustion after trying to put things in order in the “mad house”. I have never thought I would come back Melbourne and resettle in again; now I have to start everything from ground zero.

My work place was quite a distant away from my new place. I have to wake up early in cold winter mornings and dash to the tram stop, followed by hurdling across to Flinder Station to catch the train. To make the matter worse, Melbourne public transport totally sucks; I am putting up with delay, cancel, no show trains and trams. Everyday I reach home with great frustration. I am getting a car anyhow, otherwise I will die of stroke before I turn 30.

My heart was aching after dad told me that his tumors may get bigger this round. I hate the feeling of reading test results – it is like reading one’s own death sentence. I feel even worse when I meet with grandma. She knows nothing but keep putting pressure on me; I find it so hard to start a conversation with her. My tears still burst out every time dad’s voice echoes in my ears and my heart hurts when grandma’s sad energy is coming at me. I don't need them to take care of me – I have been on my own for years – I just hope that dad could hold on for as long as he can.

Things take time

Things just happened so quickly that I was caught unprepared. Within a week, I am about to move into my own place, get a challenging job I like and spend time with the person I love. Things take time, especially when you are in Australia, but it will happen when you believe.

I recently found out that a couple of my dance buddies have improved so much that one has won the Victorian Dance Championship Latin dance and the other won all the dance medal in a competition. It looks like I am the one who is left behind and not improving. Well, I am waiting for the day to settle down and get back to my dance lesson again.

Bike ride

We finally made it a day to ride a bike from Doncaster to as far as the bike trail will take on Saturday. Started slightly after mid-day, we went against the drizzling cloudy sky for our “great” journey. With packed sandwiches in our little blue bag, we rode swiftly along the Eastern Freeway. 2 1/2 hours and little detour later, we reached this secluded boat house in Fairfield park. City was merely a few kilometers away. We decide to stop and eat our packed lunch – my handmade salmon, cheese and spinach/lettuce burger. The trip reminded me greatly the three bike riding expeditions in Singapore; now I am in another city, seeing a different landscape and with different persons. Indeed, I get confused occasionally of where I am.

The way back home was a bit difficult for me. In order not to kill my legs, I rode extremely slow and gave up while going up the slopes. Another 2 1/2 hours later, I reached K’s home with little energy to even speak. Despite the exhaustion, the ride was a good trip and I am hoping to the next one soon.

At night, I was joyfully consuming large amount of diary products, namely ice-cream and cheese cake. My gratified face could persuade anyone to pat on my slightly ballooning tummy with a cherished smile.

I am avoiding my grandma. My mum keeps saying that I should make time for her and listen to her taking out her loneliness and imaginations. I can do that on the phone but not face-to-face. I am such an emotional and impatient person, the negative energy will only make me detest and rebel.