Ca Viar

Farewell Friends

Have not been out to the city for quite a while, to my surprised, I find out that there are a lot of new shops grow out from those rubble buildings in inner city. I did a bit of shopping with my flatmate. This bag I bought in a Chinese retail shop was big enough for me to shift my stuff from the old school bag. Still today, I look too high-school from my back to front, from clothes to shoes. As I will meet a lot of people soon, I have to make a great change to my appearance. Making yourself look good can boost up your confidence. That is what I heard of from Candy.

I have decided the date to move out, it would be on 19th September. Hopefully by that time I could find a place to live, otherwise I have to find a bridge to sleep under la. I definitely will miss big C whichever I live.

After the gorgeous day on Saturday, these two days are damn to drive you nuts. To make matter worse, many of the people I know are leaving Melbourne recently. I am really in the blues. Here is the list of my farewell friends:
o Mae (Bangkok): She graduated in purple gown (Media & Comm) this Saturday. All the best to her future back home.
o Michelle C (Hong Kong): She is going back to be with her boyfriend. Best wishes to her love.
o Wee Kee (Singapore): He graduated in blue gown (Commerce Accounting & Finance) a month ago. I may never see him again, this admirable leader, girl loving icon and Kendo lover.
o Shuxiang (Singapore): A marketing student who sold her book to me. She would be my future reflection.
o Caroline (Brisbane): My sincerely thanks to her for looking after me for more than a year. Bless her to get out of the distress life she is having now.

Last week was crazy, by the time I eventually had a break to clean up my personal matters, I found out my dad had already on his plane to Europe. He called me from Paris while he was strolling on Palais de Chaillot tonight. He was telling me that he could not find a post office to send me the postcards! The other thing was, he told me that “Cao” was a French word means “Hello” which was totally stupidly treated. “Bonjour” man!

Expect for the unexpected

This morning while I was still half asleep, I was told by my flatmate that she would go back to Brisbane for good. How come things are all come at the same time? Can’t they have a gap that I could have a chance to take a breath? I will definitely have my head full from today: school work, work, looking for a new place to live, coordinating my crew, etc. I hope I can get through all these difficulties in the end. After a year of going through unpredictable hardships and changes, I learn more about how to take matters easy and not to be so determine for one thing. Ups and downs will keep coming up to you, get into a knot can only make yourself miserable.

I completely support my flatmate’s decision. My motto is: “Go for wherever the chance is.” I wish she could find a better chance and an easier life back home. After all, so many bad things had happened to her in Melbourne, it is now the time for change. I wish I were she that I don’t need to stay here anymore.

I may probably miss my room. Having lived here for more than a year, there are so many memories left here, no matter they are good or bad. The night of terrify after being robbed; crying late at nights because of schoolwork stress; distress from the break up; having enjoyable meals from friends’ visits; the late-night conversation with Caroline; and many many more. I think it is God’s plan to push both of us to move on.

arts

shanghai

dad

Laughable Publicity

This afternoon, when I went pass union house, there was a group of students taking photos of a dude. That poor guy was yelling “F~~~!” with a cardboard holding in front of him. What is in the cardboard? “Desperate for SEX! Guy or Girl, please contact ***.” Gee, this is the publicity of CTG for our Jia production, as we are short of casts. Another victim of CTG publicity is Benson as he was wearing an advertisement board walked around the union house during lunchtime. Like those what we see in Chinese Cultural Revolution time.

Today I have been struggle between skipping lecture or tute for Asia Pacific media, and finally decided to go for the lecture, which means I would not turn up for that 2-hour tournament. It is about India media. Surprisingly, the lecture was very interesting as it was lectured by an India senior lecturer (not Umi). India media is a fascinating place for outsider, especially in film industry. I love to watch the light-hearted Bollywood film for the sake of their splendid scenes.

Die under piles of assignments

Lying on bed this morning, I wanted to cry. I was exhausted, both physically and mentally. Every first two days of the week are awful, as I rush all way through from 7:30am till mid-night. I cannot have time for a proper meal. Everyday is so full on: average 8-hour of school, 6-hour of work, and 5-hour of sleep.

On Monday’s marketing class, after semiotic analysing of a print ad, Janice, Nicole and me started to talk about our plan after graduate. In our first year, we were so determine to be a journalist. However, after one year of study, dreams dissolve. Jan would definitely follow her boyfriend to wherever place is and be a freelance writer; Nic might go to Japan to teach English; I might stay here two more years for further study then go to Singapore. Some people are surprised that I start thinking post-graduate while I am only half way through my degree.

Sadly, Jan gave me the fact that there was no cute Sing. guy as everyone are working very hard there. That is one of the reasons Sing. Government creates some kind of “speed dating” things. Whatsoever, I have no interest in guys now since I don’t even have time for myself. Interestingly, on my way back home, I took a short test about predicting your marry age. Mine is around 25 ~ 28, which is quite reasonable la.

I bought a Father’s card while I was in a queue to pay my bills. I don’t know if 7th September is a universal Father’s day or just for Australia. Whatever the exact date is, I want to show my love to my Dad. Being away from home for years, I never write to my Dad, physically (not digitally). It is time for me to do so.

Recently I got the digital camera Dad bought for me. I will upload some photos as soon as I can hoop online. My computer might be infected or something, IE doesn’t work. ~sad~

The special gust seminar of SALP today was bullshit. That guy, who claimed himself a priest, was jumping up and down in the lecture theatre saying things without concrete backups. I felt revolted at him when he said: “I am saying these things because I love you guys. Really!” You don’t even know who I am, how can you love me?

One more thing, although I am busy, I have good mood in these two days mainly because of the weather. Melbourne gives me the rare fabulous sunshine while I don’t even have time to enjoy it. Melbourne is not a bad place for living. This city and me just simply misplace in most of the time wherefore I will never like it.

Open day

Since school starts, I feel sorry for my flatmate for leaving her alone unaccompanied all the time. Although we live together, we can not see each other very often. I always come home late and leave early. Even in weekends, I have other commitments fulfil and have to be out all the times. No wonder she starts to hate Melbourne as I do and chooses back to Brisbane.

Today is Melbourne University open day. Two years ago, a sunny day, I came to this nameable academic institution to seek for my future dream; today, a crap day, I was a guide, represented for Arts faculty, for those teen kids. What will I end up to in another two years time? In Master of Applied Commerce on the other side of the campus? Who knows?!

carlton garden winter

carlton garden spring

Moodlessness

Lina called me tonight in the hope of seeking conciliation about her assignment torture. Unfortunately, I am even worse than her. My mental distress leaves me no passion for any chit-chat.

I am pleased to see that someone cut down the rose plant I fell onto last November. Cheers! The scar from that “evil” plant can still be vividly seen on my skin. They are the marks of showing how mindless I am.

Olympic Games

Olympic seems to be out of topic among my friends here. Back to four years ago, when I was still at high school in China, Olympic prevailed in the whole campus. Jacky “stole” a remote control and switched on the TV set to watch the games in-between classes, lunch recess time and after school. We were so intelligent that could tune the TV set to receive a cable channel without any permission from the central control room, as we were not allowed to watch programs other than those boring propaganda stuff from school. The funniest thing was we even competed with the class next door for the better quality signal.

I missed the opening ceremony, either did I four years ago. At that time, I was about to skip class for watching it back at home. All of a sudden, my teacher came and scolded the whole class for skipping class issue. Didn’t she know that day was the first day of Olympic? Eventually, we end up listening to radio and imagining what Nikkie Webster looks like from her voice.

This year, I am totally detached to any games. Not like in those teen years, I have got so many things to do that I don’t have time to sit down to enjoy a good match.

Finding another way out

As usual, I have been widely busy in the first two days of the week. Reading, researching, doing test, meeting, emailing around and working takes many of my precious writing as well as sleeping time away. School life begins to be intense. Not much fun so far, as I don’t have time to think about things outside my study.

I went to talk with course advisers in Arts and Commerce department to find out more about my course options in my final year of studying. I can either transfer to commerce degree, which is one more year of studying, or to Arts/Commerce combine degree that is two more years. Alternatively, I finish my current degree first, then apply for an intense two-year Master of Applied Commerce (Marketing). In epitome, I have to stay in Melbourne at least two additional years, which I really don’t want to. ^bewilder^

Before show time

Today was a rare nice sunny day in Melbourne winter, a dramatic contrast to yesterday’s storming rainwater day. I woke up early to go for work in Flemington racing course despite I slept at 4am last night, staying awake to wait for my flatmate come home from Kara OK. After my grandma told me the haunted incident happened in my aunt’s new house, I could not drive away the spooky scared resonate in my mind. However, I must start to get used to living unaccompanied as she is going back to Brisbane in two weeks.

I feel sorry for my flatmate as I abandoned her alone to go to work. She herself walked down to Melbourne city and took a photo, which I have been longed to take. The place is in Carlton Garden. Last spring, there was a romance in the green parade; today, trees are gravely bald to stand along.

Managing people and time is a complicated business. I was drained after calling my crews to inform the rehearsal times. In charge of a whole department requires a lot of hard work, however, I would imagine my joyfulness when the performance is finally finished.

Family values

Today is recorded as the coldest day in 6 years in Melbourne. It is a typical day in Melbourne winter: non-stopped rain accompanies with unresisted winds. As I am the girl who never bring umbrella, I was half wet by the time I reached Victoria Market. Having taking a false thought, I chose a bad grocery shopping day.

Never mind, I am still better than those who are graduating today. I feel sorry for them of graduating in such a bad weather. Whatsoever, I still want to give my sincerely wishes for my graduated friends: Cherry, Wee Kee and Yi Ping. Hope for the best to them and we may see each other again in the future somewhere in the world.

Being blessed by the grace of God, my grandma finally moved out from my aunt’s house to a very nice house in Burwood. Generation gap is a very big problem in this era. It is a best option for her to move out, as I have been telling her since I came. However, I am bitterly disappointed to see what my uncle and aunt (my grandma’s youngest son and daughter) have done to their parents. They regarded them as encumbrance, a big contrast to the way they treat their children. On top of that, the sibling relationship between my uncle and aunt is only left with competition between their children. Taking care of each other would only happen back in those old days. Is it this their fault or the fundamental problem underlined the whole Australia society? It is another reason I don’t like here. Maybe this kind of family matters also occurs in other societies. I just happen to live in Melbourne and witness what is taking place in front me, which makes me sick of this city I have been living for 4 years.

Dance! Dance! Dance

The CMG play last night was enjoyable. It was a musical comedy conducted by Asian students from around the world. CTG is coming on October, I hope it would also give a great hit across universities in Melbourne.

When we reached home after watching the show, we were amazed to see four containers of beer bottles outside a house three blocks before where we live. It must be Aussie. Actually this kind of spectacularity can be easily found in Melbourne suburbs. Young Australian can not live without beers!

Walking lamely, I finally made it back home last night after dancing for 4 hours! Under vibrant music, some crazy senior dancers and dedicated beginners made it a great street Latin dance night. I quite like dancing, although I don’t have an aptitude for it. This semester I am taking three styles of dancing classes: Street Latin, Swing and Social. Hope I can learn something out of it by the end of this semester.

Master study in my life

Stinging and antsy, I spent the whole afternoon in front of the computer checking out courses information online. I have been very irritating these days as I find out more and more about my inner self. Promotion and marketing are the areas that really interest me. Now there are two options laid in front of me: either transfer or continue to study Master. I talked to my beloved cousin for an hour about my choices and future. What she suggested was to continue and got some working experience before I came back to do master. Lina suggested the same. As the career path for marketing is not easy to lead as already known many people, so I have to take a deep consideration before I adventure out. I am not a young ignorant kid anymore, there is no such motto as "do whatever you want" in my mind. Many decisions in life I have to consider and think about their consequences.

I will never think I want to do Master. However, being through many unpredictable changes in the past few years, there is no such set agenda in life, at least not in mine. woo~~ two years of Master! It is unavoidable. One strange thing I found out was, there was no pre-requisite for doing any discipline (except Accounting) Master Commerce in any university in Australia.

A day of being wild

Today passed intensely. From 9:00am to 4:00pm, I ran from one side of the campus to the other for classes. I wished I could have a bicycle, or more surrealistic, I could fly. The worse thing was I forgot I should attend a student panel at 12pm. By the time I realised I should be in the other side of campus not in the lecture theatre, it was already 12:05. I immediately stormed out the lecture theatre, giving a fright to that poor boy who sat next to me. In the discussion room, to my surprise, there were about 60 year 12 kids. It was quite embarrassing for me to walk to the stage in the middle of those noisy naughty Aussie teens. On top of that, I didn’t know I was meant to stand up and speak in front of so many kids. My speech was not bad, just need to be there on time!

In my economic tute today, I was daydreaming of something and didn’t realise my tutor was talking to me. When I came back to my soul, I was stunt and tried to recall what he asked me a few seconds ago. I always like that in economic tute, especially the time I completely lost track then I would let my mind go wild in some irrelevant things. I am a bad student; I know this for a long time.

CMG temptation

Finally, I lure my flatmate to watch CMG this Thursday. I never watch CMG, actually I was quite isolated in the past, so now I make her and myself gain the cultural experience, boost her Chinese by the way.

I am pretty tired up in these two days. This morning I was meant to wake up at 6:45 to swim, but end up leaving my bed at 8:00. The side effect from the medicine I take for my stomach causes me feeling dizzy almost the whole day. To make things worse is my eyes are sore since yesterday. How come I always have problems with my health?

Today’s Quote:
“The blues are because you're getting fat or because it's been raining too long. You're just sad, that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?" --Holly.

A housewarming party

Last night I went with my flatmate to her colleague Michelle’s housewarming. The people there are friends Caroline knows from ANZ and her current company. They represent the life style of generation X, which are mature, table and contented with their lives. After a heartful diner, our ladies gather around the table to chit-chat about woman topics: boyfriend/husband, marriage, family, house, work and bitching about others at work. I was pretty out of place there as I am the generation Y, too young to think in their ways.

Another Michelle C, she is going back to Hong Kong for good by the end of this year. Some other ladies also thought about going back to their home countries. They said, many of their school friends went back home after they graduated. This topic really resonance my inner thought. After one and a half year, I have to decide whether to stay, go somewhere else, further study or go home. I may prefer go home because I don’t like Melbourne.

Breakfast at …

What can be worse than having a cold shower in a winter morning? Things like this happen to me this morning! After swimming in the warm swimming pool, I found out there was no hot water in the changing room. I had no choice but to endure the shilling cold water pulling on me. I nearly had a heart attack.

Recently I watched quite a few DVD/Video movies. Hong Kong film market still produces those low budget, soulfulness, quick-cooked romantics packed with flaring looked stars. Hong Kong media market is becoming more and more commercialised and walking downturns for quite a few years. I want to watch Wang Kawai’s 2046, even though I may not get what he attaches to this film, it is better than the current crap products.

I watched the long waiting-for-watched film - Breakfast at Tiffany’s - this afternoon. This film was first released by Paramount Pictures in 1961 and made itself a legend in the film chronicle. Its theme song “Moon River” was hailed as an instant classic. On top of that, it was a perfectly match for the film's star Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) who was a wonderful actress and surly wins a universal praise. The image of Audrey represents a kind of eccentric but elegant beauty, and still remains in many people’s heart. However, what I like the most of this movie is its directing technique. In many camera shots, it surprised me how fancy the director chose the camera angles and reel the his camera to unveil the character in different scene. The storyline is also not bad. I am quite touched by the end part of the story, when Paul threw the Tiffany wedding-ring to Holly (Audrey) and said: “I don’t need it anymore!”. The ring is supposed to be a gift, something with precious mind behind it, yet worth nothing in the eyes of a broken-hearted man now. I had this kind of feeling before. Sadly, I am not Audrey but Paul.

p.s. Too read a further story line, pls open this link Reel Classic.

Moon River
Moon River Moon River, wider than a mile:
I'm crossin' you in
style someday.
Oh dreammaker, you heartbreaker,
Wherever you're goin',
I'm goin'your way.
Two drifters, off to see the world.
There's such a
lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end,
Waitin' round
the bend,
My huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.

Tirenism

I was heavy-headed and finally fainted in the late afternoon. I didn’t know what I was doing and what I could remember was just I went back home and threw myself on bed. Nicole looked at me strangely before I left, maybe because my behaviour was out of control at time.

For a long time, I have cocooned myself in an imaginary utopia: I have a high living standard, enjoy working with tones of information and flows of different people, some soulful friends and a blessed relationship; money is excluded in my life. However, my utopia shells off bit by bit in the last few months. Everyone needs a utopia, but we cant live in it. It is like a mirage, it will not last long.

Crappy tute

My week has a sort of finish now. Tomorrow is my day off, and I only have one lecture at 9am on Friday. I am pretty rush in the first half of the week. Classes, seminars, dance, work, all come at the same time, no break, no lunch.

Asia-Pacific Media is not as good as expected mainly due to the boring lecutrer Umi (she hasn’t changed her style of lecturing, still repeat herself again and again in the lecture) and theoretical-minded tutor Peter (yes, it is this shy PHD guy again). 20+ of us had crappy discussions about Globalisation/Westernation in our afternnon tute. The worse thing was, Ben, Joy, Janice and me sat on the other end of the table, directly oppiste Peter, so we all had to find some crappy things to talk. As Peter was our Global media lecturer last semester, so Ben and me took those “two-way-flow of information” “diaspora” on the table again and got his nod. Super crap!

I was surprised to find that there are many singaporean in our class. When they were asked about did they consider themselves as “East” or “West”, most of them said they were both. Hmm...it is interesting. I will find out more later this semester because I am going to analysis Singapore media system with Janice for my assignment report.

Something about making film

How come many young people want to make film in this era? What is the appeal of it? It requires a lot of hard work and cooperation, aside from already complicated money matters. Maybe they want to know how far their talents can go, the rests are subordinated. There is nothing wrong of it, in fact, I quite admire those people who dare to step out searching for their glory. However, if you consider film making as a career, then I would say “Hang on! Have you really prepared to devote your life to it?” Film industry is the hardest and most difficult segment in media industry. Watching film and making film is a completely different concept, although watching it is the initial incentive. If you are ready for doing it, GO AHEAD and never regret. We must make something memorable in our life while we are young.

Feeling terribly sick today as I only had 4hr sleep last night. Need a rest.

Today’s Quote:
Life is a promise; fulfil it.

Love the Marketing Communication Tute

I had my first Marketing Tute this afternoon. Oh my God, most of my friends are in this tute! The tutor is Danielle, which is also our lecturer. I believe it will not be a boring class as most of them are typically media & comm. typed of students --- funny and interactive. My heart feels warm amount these talented people.

Most of media & comm. students have had a sort of depressing, especially those in their 3rd year of studying, as they have no idea what they want to do by the time they graduate. One media & Comm. Aussie guy frankly said “I don’t want to do any theory subjects. I HATE them! But it seems to be avoidable.” I also have had time of hating those boring stuff, however, after suffering those dull moments, I find out more about my inner self and had a deeper view about the world and human society. In my second half of media study, I will start to apply those theories in my “practical” subjects. More importantly, I will not dwell in the world to find my lost soul. I have learnt how to take things easy whenever I am facing tough time.

Today was pretty rush for me, I had to ran from one class to another. I didn’t have a chance to have a proper meal. My stomach starts to protect itself after I had a strong coffee, and I tried to vomit several times with nothing. Tomorrow’s schedule is even worse as I need to assist an in campus career fair and have a tute immediately after. No lunch break! My life becomes busy straight after Uni starts. The way I use to relief my stress is to roar loudly in my room (my poor flatmate).

Today’s Quote:
'Beautiful one day, perfect the next'

Itchy Scratchy

You will never see me in Union House during lunchtime again. Crow-packed with noisy students. There is no hope to secure a seat in the dinning hall. I think I will skip my lunch again this semester. Many people are surprised that I always have early dinner (around 5pm). I have no choice as I have a late lunch (=early diner), hehehe.

Every CVA project I go with gives me surprise more than tiredness. Today, in a fabulous weather, I went down to Point Nepean in Mornington Peninsula for my last CVA project. As it is Sunday, although we were meant to work there, we ended up working for an hour and sight seeing for two hours (lazy Australian bums). I enjoyed the spectacular coastline and fascinating fort and tunnel sites at the entrant point of Victoria Port Phillip Bay. The luniform coastline stretched out in front of me, surrounded with shinny-flashy blue water. Mornington town was a bit blur under the water vapour, gives every visitors a mystic view of its beauty. I should have brought a camera with me!

I don’t know if I should continue to swim, as the chlorine in the water makes me very itchy. My skin is very sensitive, and now there are tiny lumps in my back and hands. As I scratch my skin, it becomes bruise. Maybe I should reduce to only swim 2 times a week.

I have to start cleaning up my room because I cant find my stuff tonight!

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