1st November week

Next week is racing week. To a lot of people, it is a long weekend. It never is to me. Since second year of Uni, I always have to work very hard in those four racing days. After experiencing six years of races, I totally loose interest in this noisy and flimsy carnival. I don't adore does fancy dresses, inches high heals, or nice hats – they are and will never be mine. I would rather work humbly behind the counter and save up enough for my trips overseas than squeezing with others in an animal barn like racecourse. What so interesting of watching horses run?

Some Melbournians use this opportunity to take a break out of town. The Eastern freeway was jammed both ways: people trying to go to the countries and people trying to get into the city for parties. More traffics yet to be seen on Cup Day.

One week goes pass swiftly, which makes me feel a bit scared. On every Friday, I ask myself: “OMG, another week again!” It is the comfortable routine that I got into worries me. Yet, I am still content and happy with my job. Maybe, my world will revolve to another direction when I get bored again. Currently, it is almost centered around a couple of people.

Thoughts

I redid the Flemington Racecourse induction – the feeling was totally different six years ago. I was 19, walking up the windy road to the grandstand in the drizzle, studying in Media school, dreaming to become an event organizer/manager and anxious about the Cup carnival. Six years later, I still need to work in the Racecourse. The differences were I was much more mature, have managed regional events, have stood behind the camera and listened to my anticipated interviews by the journalists. If I want, I could even be one of the corporate guesses sipping Champaign in Grandstand.

What is holding me back?

A lot of things. If life is as simple as Lina’s fairytale world, I would not be as tough as what I am now.

I do not feel a pinch from the financial market crack down, because I don't have many things. True. Over these years, what I have accumulated? Started from grand zero and working really hard to put things together, once, twice, again and again. However, circumstances change, things are being taken away, and I have to start all over again. Maybe that is why I don't really want to own anything. I just find the less I have, the less I will care about loosing. I hate whoever asks me to commit to something that will tight me up for years – hold on to what I am having now, only care tomorrow to a certain extend (but don't live like there is no tomorrow, I need something to look forward to)!