Not a good opening of the year

My granddad had a stroke soon after we finished our New Year’s afternoon meal. As aunt and uncle went for a short trip to a Victorian countryside and no one came to celebrate New Year with these two elders, I brought R and Z to their house, wanted to bring up the joyance in the house. Grandma cooked a full table of dishes. We thought it would be a good start of the year. Grandma and me just went to the kitchen to clean up while the boys were outside, by the time we came back, granddad was found falling on the floor with sputum dripping from his mouth and having difficulty of breathing. We then quickly helped him sit up and called an ambulance.

It was obvious he has a stroke on his left side of the brain which causes his right side of body disfunctioned and a lost of speech. For the rest of the day, I ran around the hospital as an interpreter of him. Luckily I was with him at the time he had the stroke so he could be saved on time.

Eventually he was admitted into hospital in the stroke department. While I was in my uncle’s car back home, I was left with heavy thoughts and a tired body. My mum has to come now. She is the one to take up the family responsibility to look after these two senior members, plus me as well.

A lumpy pig

Everyday I am seeing empty souls walking around me. I start to understand why cinema is always occupied and Blockbuster is such a good business to run. Australia really is not the right place for me to live.

My feeling of walking in the campus has changed substantially to an empty plus unattached mode, even though I was squawking assignments/exams one month ago. It is quite awkward to change status in life – from an innocent but lofty spirit to a humble real human, toughness of life wears the spiked you to a pebble in the name of LIVE.

More than half Australians suffer a hangover on Friday after the traditional Australian Day celebration on Thursday. They had sizzling BBQ, with a lot of alcohols. Get toxicated, and then get piss. An Aussie day for an Aussie life.

Today and yesterday are very muggy. Melbournists feel terribly sticky from non-sweating. Drizzling does not bring the temperature down, instead, it makes the air thinker and harder to breath in our oxygen. We are packed in this horrible weather in this breathless city.

Today is Chinese New Year’s Eve; we had dinner in Shark Finn. Despite that I did not have any appetite in front of the ample food we had ordered, I managed to take in some for the sake of luck and happiness. We then stroll down the market on Russel street to take in the hectic environment in this “hometown”. As my physical energy soon fainted into a vain, we went back home considerably early and watched the Golden Chicken before went to sleep.

Purposely, I played a small trick and got the drawing from him, used an excuse to drive him out of my house for a while, I then quickly put it into the picture frame I bought from IKEA. CRACK!!! D***! I stepped and cracked the glass one last minute before I wrapped the frame. I almost wanted to knock my head against the wall. Eventually, I gave him this cracked frame as a new year’s gift. * I am a lumpy pig *

Burning Hot

Hot! Hot! Hot! The whole Victoria is on fire. Consecutive days of high 30s have almost burnt up the Southern province of Australia. I was feeling extremely unease and having body functioned disorder. The most disgusting feeling is that I know I am hungry and thirsty, but have no anxiety to eat or drink. Nausea is as usual; on top of that is sweating all the time while still have to work. I can feel that I can not cope with this kind of work for any longer, otherwise, I will be like committing a suicide.

I have started working full time in a temp position on Monday. Work is work; I don’t feel much pressure. Now I have to rest and try to recover from the damage antibiotics have done to my body.

For the Chinese New Year’s wish, I wish I can recover and leave this country as soon as possible.

Ripping in the heart

Yesterday I was yelling to the sky: “I am in love.” Today I am suffering from heart ripping, AGAIN. If I am not sick, I will possibly leave with him. Unfortunately, I have to stuck in Australia for at half a year. I can’t imagine life without his caring: the moments I am shivering when taking the pills, the times I am feeling nausea, the time of cram from lowing in iron … the most horrible thing is I don’t know when we will see each other again. Three months? Half a year? One year? Can we wait? Can I wait? I am not confident to wait because I know I always change, significantly.

Melbourne is under cloud

The famous haning rock is fenced

post-Christmas Lunch final presentation

post-Christmas Lunch preparation

New Year's Battle

Every time I look at my pill organiser, my eyebrows frown, mouth cockles and stomach terrifies. I have to pump in a lot of encouragement before I take the pills. They become my daily lunch, 20+ little pills in different shape, colour and even aroma.

Now I am like a pregnant woman, have little savoury appetite, want to throw out most of the time, only pungent food can stimulate my stomach to tumble for a while. I force myself to eat before my brain reacts with nausea; have to be strong to flight with the bacteria and the obsessive dose of anti-biotic.