Time Capsule

My current life is like being kept in a time capsule - no feeling, no hope, no comments – waiting for an undefined time to be reopened. Nothing can really inspire my passion; coldly looking at people and lives around me, with indifferent smile on the face. l still have to do everything by myself, sort out problems with own strength, and suffer from pains alone. Getting old everyday, starting to listen to Leslie Chong’s songs and understanding more of the scenes he described in lyrics.

Melbourne weather showed its ridiculousness again today. A storm swamped across the city in less than an hour. 35 degree of sunny day was torn to cease by the sudden lightening across the sky; rain was blasting out from the wound. I was wet like a drowned mouse when I reached home.

Joke from Rove Live – “Kerry Packer’s funeral will not save Nine’s first season rating (But McGuire’s will)

最近的我

最近渐渐发觉, 原来好有上进心的我变得无欲无求了. 一切事情在我眼中都看得很轻; 心都让药物同命运折磨得无了感觉, 身边的人和事都好似与自己无关. 从来都无怨过, 因为自问无做过另自己后悔的事; 亦从无惊过, 因为知道凡事总会有出路. 现在, I am counting on days, day after day, after days … I want to stop taking the pills. You can never imagine the awfulness of taking 16 tablets a day for three months, all the side effects that are striking me in every minute. All I hope now is to leave this country as soon as possible. I don’t want to get the God dammn PR. What PR? This is not my PR! This is theirs! This is a well-off society full of empty souls.

Pharmaceutical Matters

I am far too busy to keep track with the things I should have done ages ago. Until tonight, I realize that my visa is about to expire in a weeks time and I haven’t received my skill assessment back from the assessment centre yet. Also, I have not yet confirmed with the post office that whether my PR application documents are safely handed over to the Adelaide immigration department which I should have done a month ago. On top of that, I am busy reading information in regards to managing super funds as I am working in three jobs and all buy me three different super funds. Although I have not yet accumulated a large sum of money in all these funds, it is always better to plan well ahead.

SBS showed this documentary on antibiotic dose on diseases on Sunday night. TB is the most common disease that use antibiotic to cure. Yet, there are still some cases that some patients have developed strong anti drug “super bacteria” which no drugs can kill. This Turkish woman whose TB bacteria was resisted to all the antibiotic drugs said sadly, “I don’t know what kind of pills I am going to take next.” In the end, she passed away … My tears were bursting when I watched this one hour long documentary. Even though she was a rare case, but seeing someone has the same faith as me, I just could not help but crying.

This documentary also shows a fact that drugs are mostly profit driven. There is a 90% failure rate in the development of a new drug; pharmaceutical companies withdraw from the drug development business one after another. It had posed out a profound question: who wants to get into a business that has high risk of loosing money?

I spent the whole Saturday to cook this three most successful dishes that I have ever made so far. Cheers! Bon Appetite!

A surreal night

Until today, I have been feeling inflammatted, uneasy and tired. I should do more exercise to keep myself fit, yet I just lost my soul at the end of a day’s work.

This surreal story ignited my soul of the day last night. There was this African guy walked into our legal service at around 8pm, carrying with piles of documents stuffing in his old leather school bag. He told us that he just wanted to consult with some immigration as in refugee matters. Without much thought, Mat crabbed him into an office room and started doing pre-interview with him. About 10min later, he came out and told us this bizarre underworld story:

This guy was from the US. Somehow, in 2000, he turned a Mafia into the police; and that Mafia was shot dead by the American policy in a chase. Since then, he was tracked and intimidated by Mafia. In 2001, he went to work in Hullolo, Hawaii. In there, he was not only been after by Mafia but also Makuso (? A Japanese Mafia). In 2002, he got into Australia, moved from Sydney to Brisbane, then down to Melbourne. He claimed that, Melbourne gang war is because the arrival of him. On top of that, CIA ganged with Mafia to tracked him in Australia. Now his refugee status application was rejected by Phillip Ruddic, so he came to us and seeked help for his further appeal in the Federal court.

The prime suggestion we gave to him was – to speak to the police if he worries that his life is under threat. Kim, one of our solicitors, also tried to suggest him to see a psychiatrist by saying: “do you think you should see someone to relief your stress?” At the end of the consultation, Kim said to him in a humorous way that: “You could buy me a Coke (as she doesn’t drink alcohol)… yes, a COCACOLA.” Because she didn’t want him to twist her meaning as to buy her a “COCAINE”.

What a night! This is much more interesting that Mat’s ANZ job as playing spread sheet, and mine one of dealing with insurers.

V'day disease

This unreasonable fearful feeling has been lingering in my heart in the past few days; I could not even fall asleep on Monday night. Meanwhile, I feel my lung is getting worse, not better, as I have suffered infrequent pain and suffocate after last clinic visit. All these symptoms cumulate together and made me went to bed fairly early last night. At least, one good news is, I could shut the V’day disease out of my door.

Last night elapsed peacefully. In fact, I did not expect anything happen at all. I have learnt how to suppress my expectations and eagerness to avoid disappointment.

Munich Terror

I have been looking towards Friday for the whole week. Only when you start on a 9 to 5 job, you realize how pleasant it is to have a two-day break ahead. Again, I was filled with joy and high in energy. I could not wait till finishing work to call K out to the International Motor Show. Excitement was bet on a wrong person; either of us knows more than driving a car, $12 entrance fee was not that well worthy. K is a big fan of Mazda, given that he is driving the news 6-series model, and is looking into buying the MX-5 in the FUTURE.

After rambling in the show, we drove two rounds on Lygon St trying to find a parking space. On Friday night, you can’t even find a parking spot for bicycle! Eventually we parked the car on the street next to my house, we then headed down to Nova for a good movie. I refused to go Salsa with him as I am some sort of sick of dancing for no reasons now, especially after Coppa reopened last week. Anyway, we were just in time to watch this long-wishing movie – Munich.

This movie is a very sanguinary screenplay of what had happened after the September massacre in Munich, West Germany. It is a vivid portrayal of assassinators and the assassinations. Bombings, gunshots, blood mixed with flesh and tears, a cruelty symbolic pictures of racial hatred turned terror. There are too many Gods; people use their names and believes to flight with each other for nothing but chaotic and poverty.

Being called up all over

I have got called up by people from the immigration department ALL OVER Australia. Yes, people are calling me from Sydney (Health Undertaken department), Adelaide (DIMIA head office), Melbourne (DIMIA Melbourne office) everyday this week. I handed in the Health Undertaken form in person to the Melbourne office, called Sydney to report my location, wrote a letter to the Adelaide office along with my PR application documents, and the hospital will send a letter to whatever department they have to report back about my health condition. This looks pretty serious beyond my initial thought.

Yesterday was another hospital visit. The x-ray showed that my TB germs have been killed significantly since I started taking antibiotics. I also got the bronchoscopy result back. Its result showed that my lung was full of TB germ two months ago. Looking at the picture taken in my lung, half of my lung was bestrewn with white lumps and red spots. Luckily, I was picked up at the early stage. Otherwise, by the time blood is coughed out, I may need to go on a cancer treatment.

Surprisingly, my last a couple of blood tests also showed that I am having iron deficient. I am not a big meat lover. I always try to avoid meat whenever I can. Now I have to take the iron supplement plus to consume red meat regularly.

As a worker

“Doctor is deaf, so will not take phone calls.” – quoted from a tardy doctor protocol.

As a worker, I have nothing to look forward to except a good weekend. On usual days, unlike a student, ten minutes of sleep in is costly as to a worker. At the end of the day, your brain just cant function properly from a full day of psychological demanding workloads. When things start settling down, I would like to do an online course to keep my brain cells actively working, otherwise they will be bored to die from the regular day-in-day-out work.

I know I can do much better than my colleagues, yet the progression of promotion in Australia is far too slow for me. If I want to achieve something before I get old, LEAVE here, given that I am completely cured.

Not a fancy thing

I received a call this morning from the immigration people telling me that there was a letter on its way regarding my Australian PR application. In the phone she told me that my application would be deferred. This is as expected yet I still had a shiver glimpsed in my brain.

There are too many things shooting at me at one time right now. Although I had been through a worse situation which might have possibly cause my sickness a couple of years ago, the feeling of handling bad lucks is a fancy thing.