The sky has collapsed

I really can not imagine my life without my dad, never ever. I am always his little girl, always under his protection even though I am thousands miles away. I wish I should have gone back at least once a year to visit him, I wish I should have left home so that he could enjoy life more, I wish … things always come to late to do. From my grandpa’s stroke, to my sickness, now is him. I really wish I could be the little girl who is still running around him to do what a daughter should do.

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My dad has a lymphoma in his underarm and is going for an operation within a few days. Mum was crying non-stop over the phone, and I am on standby to flight home anytime to take care of them. I was unbelievably calm – what more could I do? I am on my own.

Love oath under Everest

I was crying badly tonight: I am terribly terribly homesick. I have been trying to settle my heart down in Singapore, yet I could not forget lives in Melbourne – the sunshine, the beach, the lazy hours of watching MTV shows on Saturday morning with big C, Sunday cooking / evening baking in our two-room flat in Carlton, long chat with B at nights, late afternoon coffees with H, … I never like Melbourne until 7months after I left it. I could not even hold my tears on the train home. I have almost done what I always dream to do and have been to the island I have been fancied to live on. It may be time to move onto the next phase of life.

I felt so happy for L when she told me she is engaged at the foot of Everest, the closest place she and her fiancé could get up to. Bless them and wish God could grace their love eternally.

Zombie

For the whole Saturday, I felt like a Zombie. Woke up at 11am, still in a half-asleep state. Talked to grandma for 45min, ate some biscuit while clearing my personal emails, then went to teach Chinese for one hour. Came back home, feeling melted in the scorching sun. Ate my first KFC in Singapore before went to bed for a nap. The next thing I knew was 7pm. Quickly washed my face before dashing out to Union Square to meet up with Chole for the night of fun. I need a full day to detox my one-week of tiredness.

I suddenly missed Melbourne so much while I was on the dance floor. I have always been homesick, yet every time I was in a social dance environment, the emotion surged to its peak. I became very subsided, reluctant to reach out for new friends. I admit I am not a PR person. I should have learnt to put up a friendly face in most situation, yet I could not pretend who I am not and draw smile on my face.

After months of anticipation, I finally got up to Mt Faber, a small hill near Vivo city; a well-known place for couples to make out where is surrounded by several over-priced restaurants and bars with alright views. For me, there is no better place for you to get stung by mosquito and dengue fever.

I am feeling so healthy since I started my exercise regime since Wednesday, except for my grumbling upset stomach which has never been in a good state for years.

Ready, set,…

I am going on a one week Bangkok-Cambodia-Ho Chi Min City trip in late November. I desperately want to get out of this small island for a while. I am trying hard to dig out activities I could do on my spare times, except for work.. I have set up my exercise plan to exercise at least three times a week and try not to check work emails over the weekend. If I want to make my Singapore experience memorable, I should not over-kill myself by work and unhealthy lifestyle.

My record for the 5K shape run is: 00:36:34.74, position #540 (over 3000+ women). Not fantastic, yet not bad for the first one. Maybe I should consider going to the Standard Charter half marathon or 10K.

Aftershock, aftershock and more

Sway from the right, sway from the left, sway from all corners, I was not in a boat or a swing, I was on the 25th floor when the aftershock stroke one after another. It was not funny at all! I was feeling so giddy, even nausea for the whole morning until our boss disseminate us to work from home. I admitted I am a chicken and I was the first one ran out of our office. How could a normal person stand for any longer if s/he has been suffering from the earthquake tremors since 7pm the night before and 8am in the morning. My dad told me to go, I asked, “Where to go?” I work on the 25th floor and live on the 20th, walking among buildings that are over 30 levels.

Here I go, Bangkok – Cambodia – Ho Chi Min City! A solo three countries trip started from 19th November till 26th November. Anyone jealous people want to join me? Guarantee no tsunami warning or earthquake risk in these three countries, rebel excluded.

Crisis, crisis, and more crisis

I did not sleep well since I go back to work on Tuesday. Why? Because I am in the CIM team for this troublesome drug which a bunch of US medical scholars want to wipe it out from the market. Constant media monitoring, getting media holding statements stand by, seeding our stands on the issue to the journalist, and media release preparation. I have to wake up at 6.30am to tap the pulse of global media and news wires on the news pick ups, and work from home to update the Singapore office till 8am. After a 15 minutes taxi ride, I am back to the office to continue on high alert on news that might break out in any minute. This is what one should bear in the media industry.

In the evening, around 8pm, our building was shaking like six months ago. OMG, another earthquake!!! This time, in Indonesia Sumatra, a 7.9 earthquake was experienced and tsunami warnings were put up immediately after the tremor in Sri Lanka and Indonesia. A few of us who stayed back to work in the office, hurried out of the office, descended from the staircases to the lower level. I was contacted by a print journalist to share my “evacuated” experience. Keep an eye out on tomorrow’s newspaper people.

Daddy's little girl

I am feeling so delighted after keeping myself away from work for three days – my brain is much clearer and more refreshing. Having put up a defining vision in mind, I feel reenergized and blessing to stay in this foreign land for another period of time.

I love to talk to my dad; I don't think there is another man better than him, not for the time being at least. He always supports me and gives me advice when I need it. Yesterday I was suppressed because of the phone call with my aunt. After discussing the situations and all the possible way outs with my dad, I freed myself from the dead corner to an open end with encouragement to ignore some burdens blocked my vision ahead.

I fall in love with Michael Buble’s music, here are two of my favorites:

Daddy's Little Girl
You're the end of the rainbow, a pot of gold,
You're daddy's little girl to have and hold.
A precious gem is what you are,
You're mom-my's bright and shi-ning star.
You're the spirit of Christmas, the star on the tree,
You're the Easter Bunny for mommy and me;
You're sugar, you're spice, you're ev'-ry-thing nice,
And you're daddy's little girl.

You're the spirit of Christmas, the star on the tree,
You're the Easter Bunny for mommy and me;
You're sugar, you're spice, you're ev'-ry-thing nice,
And you're daddy's little girl.

Everything
You’re a falling star, You’re the get away car.
You’re the line in the sand when I go too far.
You’re the swimming pool, on an August day.
And You’re the perfect thing to see.

And you play your card, but it’s kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don’t pretend, that you don’t know it’s true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing.
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.

You’re a carousel, you’re a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You’re a mystery, you’re from outer space,
You’re every minute of my everyday.

And I can’t believe, uh that I’m your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we’ll see it through,
And you know that’s what our love can do.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing.
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.
You’re every song, and I sing along.
Cause you’re my everything.
yeah, yeah

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

逝者如斯

After a couple of months training, I finally finished my 5K run with quite a good placing among 6,000 of other girls. I felt so overjoyed after passing the finishing point, still had an urge to run more. Indeed, after this 5K run, there will be another 10K race coming up in October and a full/half Standard Charter marathon in December. I am not confident enough to run such a long distant, however, after investing $120+ on my Asics running shoes, I will definitely run more to tone up myself and loose a bit of “excess”.

No more Sunday blue, no more worrying about what are lining up for the coming week, no more rushing back home before 10pm because I have to wake up early the next day. At last I could enjoy my Sunday stress free \. Now, it is Monday blue

On Monday night, after a proper cooked dinner at a proper time, I went around my neighborhood area – the Singapore heartland. I was like gone back to the first few weeks I landed in Singapore, Bouncing around like a five-year-old, peeking excited eyes around people / places / buildings / hawker centres. Despite an unpleasant phone call this morning, I still managed not to think about the matter for as long as I could resist. I realize today is the last day of the ghost month, the Chinese communities burn joysticks and papers around town to send away the ghosts.

Mid-autumn festival is coming at the end of this month, a festival which I tried to get my parents to buy the most expensive lantern to compete with my friends when I was young. Putting paper boats in a lake, burning candles in a park and running around with lanterns were part of my childhood memories. 逝者如斯啊，留都留不了。

Breathless

For the whole week, I am feeling exhausted, unhealthy and breathless. I smashed into bed, feeling taking the last breath before I fell asleep within 30 second. I have to take a break, to recharge and reenergize. I hate spending a day doing nothing, but that is what I am going to do on Monday, just to take things easy and think more to myself.

Need more time

I am taking Monday off, going to do nothing but just give me some time to think who I am and what I want after seven months in Singapore. I am not on top of myself, lagging behind in life and a lot of things. I hate this feeling. I need time for myself to think and read to enrich my knowledge. Suddenly, a free and spirited mind is incarcerated in a small office on the 25th floor of an aged building standing in the middle of a small island. I am on myself.

Latin Jam

This month is Dance festival month. The Singapore government has organized a series dance workshops in all September weekends. I managed to fit one session into my schedule this weekend – Latin Jam. The teacher is the salsa dance champion, from whom I refreshed my body roll move and body flexibility in the tense 1 1/2 workshop. Enjoy the video.

I have gone crazy into slimming recently. I have gotten a voucher to go for a free slimming section after buying a pack of expensive slimming tea being pushed to me by a newspaper vendor. With no delay, I went to see the TCM doctor on the second day. For the first time, I have tried acupuncture, which I was jabbed in my tummy by seven needles. I do not feel I have slimmed down after these jabs, yet I found out I am low blood pressure. Fatigue, tinnitus and tired was not unaccountable to me in the past one week. With the amount of work pressure pouring on me, I am not surprised I may be tipped over the board a bit.

Holland V

After six months of adoring the name of Holland Village, I finally come to visit this westernized district to explore and experience its night life. Three small streets crisscrossed with each other, have formed a night Lygon street in Singapore. International cuisines are laid out on both sides of street, from Italian to Japanese, from Laksa to pizza, with Caucasians eating among the Chinese. A good chill out place, yet not a must visit hot spot I would recommend.

I have just paid for an internet fee for another 8 months. Even though it is “refundable” – I signed up through my friend – I could foresee another 8-month of life in Singapore. I don't hate this small island nor the job, just my homesick is hitting hard me. I really want to go home where my family is greeting me, like what normal people have. However, I am still on my own, after all these years of hard work and crumbles; if I fall, no one will be holding me at the back.

After two consecutive nights sitting at the edge of my seat, I finally finished watching the first two of the Bourne trilogy – “Bourne Identity” and “Bourne Supremacy”. I am not a fan of action film, yet this is the only trilogy I am additive to, not to Matt Damon but to the concept of a super intelligent human who has a kind heart deep inside his soul. Of course, the breathtaking car tracing scenes, the delusive story line and the round the world shoots have added a distinct flavor to the films.