Happy 21st!

I met with a guy today who gave me a sense of impression really like another guy I was friend with. This guy is originally from Shanghai. He works with me in the Racing course last time. He was wordless, disconsolate, lose himself in life; whereas daring, as in asking my number in the first time we met. I felt sorry for inviting him to my birthday party, because he did not like the theme of music played (Cuban Latin dance music). Having tried several times to initiate his interest to talk with my friends, yet his disposition made others hard to engage with. When he left alone to a R&B club in Crown Casino, a dispossessed feeling came up to my heart for his loneliness. Actually for the whole night I was longing for him to turn up, for he is a reflection of my once friend. It has always been sad to see someone was living in a myth, but you just stand aside and could not offer any help and watch them sin. As I have been reminding myself not be swayed by effusive emotion to the others; however this soft spot had made me take up others responsibilities which are unnecessary. Anyway, I am not a savoir. My own problems could stack me to suffocate; I should and could not take on those beyond my ability.

“Rush” is the word I can think about to describe my first day of being a true adult. Lina was late for meeting up, so the whole day schedule was put off. On top of that, the French restaurant we chose to have dinner took ages to serve a meal. We could not even slowly enjoy our fancy yet costly meal. I scoffed the French toasted duck meat within 10 min and left half a glass of Sauvignon Blanc not finish. The time handed at 9pm, we buzzed off losing our “fine dinner” attitude! I knew I am running late to the place that was on the other side of the city, I use my internal turbo to get dress and ready to go only in half an hour!

“Vacuity” is another word for my feeling of today. Even though there were 10+ friends came to say “Happy Birthday”, the wishes from those I was longing for never came. Well deserve! Different from those 小鸟依人kind of girlies, I have a too strong feminine character. For a girl like me, who gives people impression that I am independent enough to take care my own without any soul supports. Sad hurh? In fact, we are the most vulnerable species that need most of the help from others.

Materialist is not my character. There was no excitement when I opened my gift. I most prefer to open an email with blessing messages or a phone call from overseas, someone from my family. Goods cannot last forever, only a heart could remain infinity.

After 21st, the rest of age-changed will be no meaning except for stamping a year older on your face as well as on your heart. My wish for the new page in life: determine a life goal and strike for it; be happy always; find a job; and be passionate.

Coin Issue

I found a tin with dozens of 5c coins a few days ago while I was cleaning up our house. It was appropriated for our house piggy bank, which means I have to “take care” of them. The most viable way I can think about to put away these mini 100+ aluminium is the ticket machine. By the time 50 of them got into that antediluvian machine, it could not take up too much at a time and vomit all them out. With no other better idea, I had to make my way to a news agency and sound a friendly guy on buying a $9.4 ticket with my coins. Counting for 5 minutes, I finally got my ticket and got rid off those weighty little things.

Bless all those who are suffering from the tsunami disaster recently. It was a catastrophe that you could only imagine in Hollywood movies. Facing of natural power, humans are too fragile to fight with. Sympathy arose from my heart when I saw all those poor people were suffering from missing love ones as well as losing homes.

What the Hail!?

Hail was dropping from the sky the whole night last light, which made today like a pre-winter Melbourne. Sombre sky with drizzle added an ashen colour to the post-Christmas-sale shopping atmosphere. The city becomes a lot quiet now; most of the Asian students had gone back home, only left the cheerlessness to this lonesome society.

I spend such a dank day sitting on my bum and read a book about negotiation technique. As my thought gets maturer, I read less and less fiction but more of technical stuff. I lose my passion for imagining a good life, a good relationship, or an unexpected adventure. That is how life progress has to be.

Readings

In the past week, I finally have more time for myself. When I don't need to work day and night, I would prefer staying at home quietly and read some books. Three books had already been killed and more will be finished. The contents I consume are all about creativity and advertising. I can not see the point of escaping my faith from the advertising industry now, as I like it so much. Reading how to operate an advertising company is my most entertained moment.

Trifles

Christmas Eve
- Watching Sydney Myer Music bowl on TV while I was working wearily.
- Carried at the back of two guys along Yarra river bank in mid-night.
- Watching 20min “A Girl with a Pearl Earrings”.
- Nearly put my foot in a wrong relationship again.

Christmas Day
- Christmas presents: three boxes of chocolate.
- A big lunch: from 12:30pm to 8:00pm. I was stuffed with lots of food.
- Witness a family truth.
- A fight with the dickhead house owner.
- A quite night with no guys in the house.
- A planned date with Lina.

I wish I could have a "Merry Christmas"

Today is Christmas day. It is a day for family reunion after one whole year of busy life. Fulfilling with warm summer essents, my family gathered in my uncle’s house to enjoy a blessing day from God. Yet underneath such a fake harmonious family image is a tearful fact. Yes, I am crying now, for my grandparents’ life. The bald-faced fact of my uncle’s attitude towards his parents reveals in front of my eyes in this Christmas. The meaning of family to him is no more than blood ties.

Indignation ruined my day tonight by my house owner. F**KING HELL! He is such a dickhead who rise my anger in such a seasons of greetings. He went back on what he had promised a week before and said I was being difficult. I did not concede to him, and we ended up having a fight over the phone and an unpleasant hang up.

Gee, this is my second Christmas in Melbourne, and left to me with so many bad memories in the future.

Something happy today was I finally told my grandma about my future plan, which is not staying in Melbourne. She had no objection except for nagging me to get a citizenship before I leave to somewhere else. I will be old by then. On top of that I might not dare enough to adventure out.

I have learnt a curl fact that is you have to bear that your gratitude will not always return by others. What a messy world out there!

Flyer flapper, please

Good always comes with bad, these two situations are non-separated. We are all enjoying the beautiful Melbourne weather, so are the flyers. In our Chinese community, we have a wide-spread saying: “Three treasures of Australia: obesity, drunkard and flyer.” Obesity is obvious everywhere in the street; drunkard appears at night time, while flyer is with you all the time. Once outdoor, you start to flight with this tiny creatures till you get to your destination, only if it is indoor, otherwise … flapper please!

I have been catching up with long-lost contact friends recently. Coffee on Lygon street, dinner in Richmond, and will have my party by the river bank bar on the 30^th. Not many people are expected, as now is the season of those official “big” days of celebrations; yet true friends will remain, whenever and wherever.

A warmth from the earth

From cold water to alcohol; from alcohol to coffee; from coffee to tea; then come back again for warm water, my drinking addiction changes from time to time. In the end, water is the best with no artificial ingredient added.

Snugly sunshine permeates uni campus path way, leaves are rustling above you. Now it is the best time to enjoy the merry season of the year.

season's greeting - Melbourne crown casino

A summer breeze

A sudden rise to 35 degree after days of drizzle is supposed to be enjoyable as long as you are not working, unless not outdoor. I was lucky enough to taste the hot summer breeze in the horse track without any protection, except for the stupid hat, in Flemington racing course. Thank God, I only stayed in that outlet for three and a half hour then be rearranged indoor. Yet my body was in a dehydrated state and could not even think after a whole day of work (11 hours, I think). To be frankly, I am a very weak person. Even Lina can work 12 hours a day in a more fast pace environment, I can not stand merely 6 hours work shift. hidrotic

Internet trauma

Many irritated things happen in my new place merely one month after I moved in. First is the internet connection die out with no sympathy for our two-month advanced payment. Followed by my wardrobe’s door stuck in the rack with two guys pushing heavily in order for me to get my clothes out. Last but not least, new people are KEEP MOVING IN and their stuffs are around our downstairs living room. Their ignorance destroys my neatness fantasy =<

Three of my housemates and me wandered around city looking for good pubs last night. Again, fun was not reserved for unprepared dude. Moving about couples of funky places, yet they were either no good gigs or overcrowded. We finally decided to picnic at home and watched Japanese animate. Half-dozen of empty beer bottles are lying around the floor by the time I woke up this morning.

Everyone is looking forward for the one-week Christmas holiday ahead, whereas I am going to have more work and get quick money out of this busiest time of the year in hospitality industry.

People say we need a partner to spend this blessing season together. Do we? Nothing can be more important than spending time and thanks giving to your family and best mates for their encourage at the end of the year.

Some of my friends graduate in these two days. Nothing can be more cheerful by the time you are leaving the academic campus you have spent several years of good time in it. More unpredictable uncertainties are waiting ahead; however, ambitious comes forth with no barriers.

Working is no fun

Now, 3:00pm in the afternoon, rare warmth is covering Melbourne city outside my office's grandstand glass. Fabulous as people would jealous about after days of drizzles, whereas everyone in the office are confined in their square carrel. Those ladies are walking, talking and also busy sitting in front of the square pale Mac monitor while keeping their hands non-stop on the phone dialed-face. AsiaLink is a good organization, yet it is not the kind of position and working environment I want to put my foot in. Gaining contacts in their arts/education/corporate relationship is my main purpose of sitting in this container like office carrel.

I am going to have a small birthday party @Alumbra in two-week's time. A mate in my dance class suggested to me that this bar has Latin music on every Thursday night. The price also sounds reasonable to me. With no second thought, decisions are made. Not much people will turn up anyway, no need to make it so glamourous.

Technological malady

I have been isolated from the cyber-society for several days. The new way of human connection went crash with no sympathy, despite we kept harassing the technician from our internet provider. What should we do now? Prey. In Christmas time, everything can be possible. One of my housemate is going to walk along city streets in the hope of grabbing a Santa-like person to fix our modem.

Three electronic translators are lying in front of me. All thanks to my beloved Dad, who does not how to save either. He likes to collect electronic devices. Moreover, he loves to disassemble them. God, what should I do with these three little things, which may not be in their original status?

A free day

Shower and thunderstorm is the main theme of this year’s Melbourne summer. Wet for few hours and shine for another. Ridiculous!

I was flipping through a career-planning book this morning. The more I read, the more scary I felt. 2005 will be my final year of studying in the peaceful and beautiful world-class academic institution in an unpredictable city. Many agonising matters, which I have been put off time after time, can not be avoided anymore. Job! Job! Job! Having seen big C struggling with her jobs for months, I don’t think I am ready enough to take those hardships. On top of that, I ask for more than a junior position. I know I am better than average, yet in the competitive job markets and media industry, I have no choice but lower my head. Next year will be another great year to me.

Yesterday I enjoyed a day of aimless. That is what I like to do in the holiday. As everyday is so rush and packed, I want to enjoy a day without schedule. Walking out of house at lunch time and got on a tram whatever the its number is and wherever it would take me to, I wished I could have a nice relaxing day. The fact was, I spent a free but boring day strolling along St Kilda beach and window shopped for cakes in variety cafes. Self-adventure was no fun. A person like me can not live without companion.

My tears were bursting out when grandma told me that she had already bought themselves cerements this time they went back to China. Grandpa’s health is getting worse and worse; I know that day is coming close. My worry is how can grandma stay alone after that day? No friends around, barriers of language, difficulties of going out. Fortunately, she has God to go along with.

The figures in my bank account are absolutely a shame. No difference to other youth in my generation, I never save up. Money flows in and then flows out in just a blink. My financial habit is a horror: I can be really stingy in some times, yet no budget in the others. Food is the least expenditure, since my digestion problems, while travel and entertainment costs most of my savings. Especially in the holiday, I am going out every night and non-stop partying. I am a simple girl who wish to enjoy life even in the hard time.

Quirky weather

Melbourne weather is quirky this summer: thunderstorm for two hours, sunshine for another two. Water drops from the blue sky; hail interweaves with rain. People are confined indoor by this shitty weather, whereas Christmas chorales are flying over city streets.

I finally got the service marketing lecture notes. Not from my friends who had promised to me ages ago, but directly from the lecturer. She is such a sweet lady. When I told her my initiative of learning this subject in this holiday on the other end of the phone, she immediately asked me to come down to her office and printed all the notes out. The feeling of walking into her office was different from into Sally Young’s, although I prettied both for being confined in a small room to write stuff in order to survive in Melbourne Uni. More spirited as she should be as a marketing profesionist, “to write a complain letter to your program coordinator” was the first sentence jumped out when she saw me. “RMIT offered me better money so I quite Monash (dean of Marketing department).” was her second comment of her career in the discipline. Hiding yourself in Uni for life is also not an easy job as competitions are anywhere.

Plan for my 21st has not yet finalised, but the party venues have already been chosen, one is a place for dinner and the other one is for dance (street Latin dance for sure). I have got lots of friends, when comes to the time for a real spiritual sharing, only one or two can be counted in. On top of that, most are back to overseas to celebrate a more important birthday – Jesus Christ. Well, there is nothing more I could ask for as I have already got friends that would not leave me at ANYTIME.

Street Latin dance is … GREAT!

Since school finished, which was about a month ago, I have not put my feet in high heels and moved toes on the dance floor. Tonight, I finally made it in Gardenias Hotel and picked up my Street Latin dance steeps. Dance was great fun, especially with those people who know how to dance and can dance well. I learnt couple of new and cool moves in Mambo tonight. Although feet were sore after dancing for three hours, the crazy and fast body movement made me more relax from my day-to-day work. I hope I could continue my dance motivation next year.

On my way home, I was 调戏 by couples of Asian guys drove by in a Celica. I was a bit scared even though it was still busy on the street at 10:30pm. Before that, a girl in our class was surprised to see me walking down Elgin St without a companion. She asked: “where are the guys? One of them should walk you back home!” I had no words if she knew my worst experience in Lygon.

Not much fun in the office this week, apart from seeing Australian working styles are so slow and relaxed. As Junie said: “In Singapore, everyone works hard enough to dead. For what?”

Blessing from God, Junie finally got a job with Singleton in Sydney before Christmas. Her best Christmas ever.

A diarrhea

out of a court case as long as he could still charge large sum of money from their clients. Where is the philosophy of law? Where is their conscience?

The Australian working environment is very relaxing. AsianLink is considered to be one of the best media organization in Melbourne, yet the people work there are far less stressful than those in Asian countries. I don’t think I will be interested in media industry for very long. What is my plan? Have not yet exactly decided, you know, things always change unforseen. A career change in my mid-20s is the most likely. One thing is for sure, Melbourne will not be my destination.

Since the night before, I have been suffering from a serious diarrhea. It is the worse one I had in this year. Tossing about in bed, I could not sleep well for two nights. On top of that, my tiredness drawn from my day and night jobs make me loss my appetite.

Brisbane tour

Day 6: After a small incident of station confusion by big C, I was picked up by her and continued my tour to Brisbane - a sunshine capital city of QLD

The breezed afternoon stroll along southbank in Bris city; Mt Cooth-tha night look-out reminded me of my home city’s night view; Coffees on Bris Italian café witnessed culture difference and acceptance. Only one day, I had already fell in love with this small yet glamorous city.

Day 7: Stradbroke Island – A real paradise
I did not believe such a spectacular landscape that could only be seen in magazine would unfold in front of me. It worth taking 1 ½ hr and AU$20 to get on this real paradise island. This is the utopia I talked about before in my blog that where the sunshine, beach and nice people were living. Thanks God who allowed me to stay in Bris one more day to have the chance to fulfil my utopia dream.

Although utopia is merely a dream and I would not choose to live there for my whole life, it was a great way for all of us to relax from our worries. Staying with big C’s family is great fun, especially with her sister. I felt like I was still a teenager while we were running cheerfully towards the edge of cliffs.

Wrap Up – everything has a beginning must have an end.
Now I am back to my bizarre busy life. Yet my heart has been opened up and my attitudes become more positive. I am still young, why should I have so much worries and troubles about getting myself on track? I am ambitious, so…keep the ambitious and enjoy my inner sunshine even in the rainy days.

p.s. Being away from Melbourne is always good.

This is the paradise


The best photo

2004 QLD holiday

2004 has been a very turbulent year for me, and every week my life is filled with works, meetings and thoughts. I think it is important never to forget how lucky I am – count towards my blessing from the people I love and people who love me. Without their supports, I would never reconstruct life completely at the time I lost my direction.

Holiday is always a good escape from normal day in day out life, and a great time to take a second thought of current life state. This QLD trip I entirely relax myself by cutting off all the connection from the electronic world – no mobile, internet, TV and newspaper; also things from Melbourne were disconnected. My world was only embraced with sunshine, beach and theme parks in the northern Australian sunshine state in the past one week. Despite tired as expected, fresh ideas and a new life have been generated and are waiting for me to embark on. My nerves are unbuckled after a whole year of tightening.

There are some linguistic matters come up after the trip. As I went with five other Malaysians, both of my English and Mandarin accents change to sound like theirs. I was mistaken twice by others for being a Malaysian in Brisbane. I can not identify whether it is self-conscious or the fact, that I feel like I can easily adopt to new things, not just in languages. The other communication problem was I could not clearly express myself in mandarin, that my companions talked to me in mandarin while I responded in Cantonese. It was funny to see how two linguistically different language were exchanging information between Sino-Chinese from different part of the world.

Day 1: Witness the busiest street nightlife in Australia
Ginnie and me arrived in Gold Coast at around 8pm. After check-in, we and other four Perth mates headed towards Surfers’ city straight away. The main streets in Surfers Paradise were surprisingly busy, even though it was already 10pm at night. Schoolies were cramming around to celebrate the end of 12-year’s of education. Drunken young kids went passed by one after another. I knew Gold Coast was now in the most busiest time of the year.

Day 2: A fabulous animal performance - Seaworld
The first theme park in our schedule was Seaworld. My comment for this theme park is: 不可不来, 也不可再来. As I had been to Hong Kong Ocean park, the attraction of this theme park became less appealing. The highlight was the “Shark Bay”, where we could see different shark species swam in the limpid water. On top of that, the sea animals’ performance were hilarious, and they were far more professional than the Hong Kong one.

Day 3: A Sunday market visit and Swim in Surfers
We headed uptown for a Sunday market in Gold Coast. Not much different from Victoria market in Melbourne, except for my feeling of being a tourist. Two hours were spent strolled around the market in a Sunday relaxation mode.

The big activities for today was to taste the world class beach against those high rise building in Surfers. Bumping forth and back in the aquamarine water, I wished I could come to swim in Gold Coast every month, as what my boss does.
Gold Coast is said to have the best coastal line in the world with sleeky sand and fantastic sunshine. It is the best place to get skin cancer (kaka). The most important for us were handsome guys and perfect ladies could be found everywhere around you. They were too young for us, yet view and admire was still a good thing to waste time in holiday.

In the main street of Surfers Paradise, girls that are wearing bikini and walk among publics are seen as ordinary. That is the view you can not see in any other Australian cities. I like the atmosphere of carelessness and the smell of salty water.

Day 4: Hollywood on the Gold Coast - Movie world
This is the theme park where I met with those Warner Brothers’ animated cartoon characters. Hugging with bug bunny, queuing under sizzling sunshine for batman, taking photos against fairy buildings, plus much much more brought back my long-lose childish attitudes.

Scooby-doo ride is a not-to-be-missed machine rides in Gold Coast. Yes, I mean it. Highly recommended by my friend, we had been waiting in a queue for half an hour to take on board of the spooky coaster. No surprised in the first bit of the ride with faked doggy heads stuff, yet after our ride went into an elevator, the spooky journey started. Being lifted up to the top, we entered a world with infusive laser beams. The scariest bit was that the coaster suddenly accelerated BACKWARDS! We deeply dropped down to a certain level, and then the coaster rolled down through the fantasised world with fast speed. Gosh! I had not prepared myself for such a spine-chilling ride, however, this ride was the best of all in machine rides in QLD. I am sure there would not be any objection to this assertion.
We went to Jupiter Corner (a casino in Gold Cost) at night to see a musical show called “Mid-night Magic”. It was OK only; at least it did not worth for the price I paid. However, I was fancied with its stage design and the way backdrop it used. The knowledge I learnt from CTG was now applicable here, hehe.

Day 5: A day for chill out – Dream World
The weather that day could melt down everything. We did not take much scary machine rides as most of us were not feeling well under such a hot weather.

The tower of terror was the scariest one; we thought so before we took on board. It was a machine car which could reach speed 170 in just 7sec, and its track stretched up to height 30 meters. Despite of the acceleration loudness, the ride was not scared at all. It was too far for us to have a sensation reaction.

Roller coaster was the second scariest one I rode on. Believed it or not, I did not have the gut to ride on roller coaster until I was 19! And this was my second time on roller coaster. From outside I thought: it was not very high. And the 360-degree roller was hided behind the winding tracks. Until I sat in the coaster and climbed upwards, I knew I was cheated! “Shit! I saw two 360-degree rollers in the front.” Two girls yelled. And the height I climbed up to was unbelievable high up. No way back, the coaster had to go on. I was shanked up by the time my feet reached back to ground, yet it was a great experience.

Water log ride could not scare us at all after we took those scary rides. The highlight was we all got wet after riding, from top to toe as well as from out to in. “全湿了!” was our comment.

Giant drop and the Claw was ignored, as I knew I did not want to 拿苦来辛. Apart from that, I am scared to take off.