End of week

It is the end of week, I am completely broke. Money purse has already been ripped broken, craving for more notes and coins. Innovation like ATM is clever, you can always take money from it when you are in drought, unaware that you have to pay back ultimately. I can not help but fall into this Aussie life pattern – work and spend. Maybe at this age, I just want to relax and have some fun, and postpone the career impulse after I am cured.

The rhythms and lyrics from the Sound of Music kept popping in my head last night. I downloaded couples of its sounds last night and merrily jumped into bed in Maria’s joyful voice. Today, when I was walking in town and veered my way into this CD shop, I found its CD was displaying prominently on the shelf. Without a second thought, I rushed to the counter, paid for the disc, and frisked out to join the crowds in this drizzling Friday evening.

A long awaited show - Danny Bhoy

Ready to race!

Illegally race in a legal way

“Phew…” “Phew…”, I am going to the world’s biggest and loudest racing car event on this Sunday, will be seeing cars spurring at a illegal speed in a legal track with policemen saluting on the track side. I am not a big fan of racing cars or that sort of thing, but to have a bit of fun on Sunday as most other Australian do, why not? Having said that, you know me, I may be exhilarating by the hectic atmosphere on the day, busy wigwagging the Ferrari flags and taking pictures around the venue.

There is no indication of fun or intellectual stimulation in life since I started working in Optus so far. Oh well, I have been so busy in the past few days that I even have to take a night off from FLS tonight. I can see things are stacking up in my schedule, I just need some time to sort out stuffs, giving that I only have couples of hours to do them at night.

The next visit to the hospital will be a big thing as I will be two weeks prior to the final completion of my TB treatment. Currently, I am in mid-way of the entire treatment, and the next half will be a lot easier as the two most DISGUSTING pills were taken out. Grabbing a bag of pills that are enough to supply my medication in the next three months, I am glad that I don’t need to come back in another 10 weeks to wait for 1 ½ hours for a 10 minutes consultation with a doctor.

A big reward

I always reward myself with an ample dinner on Thursday. As I am busy for most nights of the week, practically speaking, Thursday is the only night that I can really sit down and enjoy my dinner. Like tonight, after digesting a mouthful of food, I am dropping to Safeway for dessert. Two cones of Vanilla & Choc ice cream make a posh contentment for the night.

When I was still in undergraduate, I always look forward to have a schoolwork free life. After I graduated, I had been busy looking for jobs and taking care of my health. Until now, I get a job with Optus, I still can’t find time for myself. Later in the year, I am going to do an international accredited course as well as ding some volunteer work from my field to prepare myself for the competitive Singapore labour market. I will be extremely busy by then. However, my health will still be the most priority in my agenda.

The best saver

“Ding……”, a strident midi music blasted out from my mobile phone, awakened the poor wanting sleep victim –ME! 8am in the morning, I was still half asleep, immersing in the bedsheet comfort I started to enjoy from 3.30am last night. It was a private number; I had to pick it up. As a job seeker, you don’t want to miss any opportunity that may rise from a single phone call. As expected, I get a job with Optus after a few more phone calls bouncing between my agency and me. I will start working again tomorrow. My sleepiness was thrown out of the dormer, and my rest of the day was busy dealing with matters I could not do once I commit full time work.

Three of the officers in the Uni post office are already familiar with me as I come to deposit money every week in the past two years. Jamie, a nice Turkish officer, said to me today: “You are a nice girl. People come in here to spend money; you are the only one come in to save money. Good!” Am I? I can be really stingy in some ways, but if there are good shows in town, I would not hesitate to spend handsome amount of money to buy a seat. Dance, dinner with friends and movies are also components of my current capsulated life.

I watched the “TransAmerica” film recently. The theme is quite wacky. I cant deny, Hoffman carried the transsexual character out seamlessly who she has to act like a woman with a man’s body given that she is a woman already. As all that, the interwinding relationships in the film were bizarre. It has heavily reflected the irresponsible ethics in today’s western world. I am not criticising the transsexual thoughts and its subsequent acts, but the careless sex of young people, social discriminations and cheatings between humans.

A long nap

I had a long but not much enjoyable afternoon nap today. Sleep sometimes can be a substitute to anaesthetic. Once you are in asleep, pains, worries, angry, anxieties, etc. are meaningless. I wish I could sleep and wake up to face an entire new world. Neither working nor not working makes me happy, because I worked in the job I don’t like and I dread in searching for the job I like, at least in Australia this is the case. I am not incompetant but am unable.

Queen's Baton

I finished my first paid job on Tuesday. Feeling a bit uncomfortable yet predictable as it was a temp position anyway. Good money but a dead end job. The most gain was to make a friend with an Irish girl. Maybe we are all passenger to this country, we feel a bit close than those simple minded colleagues around us. Now, I am falling back to the unemployed state and trying hard everyday to get a job. For the time being, I don’t have many choices. Firstly, I am not an Australian PR. Secondly, my language is still not perfect. Thirdly, my health would not allow me to get a permanent job as it will require me a healthy pre-employment state. Anyhow, stick to my principle as always, I will try my best and not to feel regret after this hard time has gone past.

Soon after I walked out of Flinders St station on Tuesday, I was overlooking a large crowd overspreading on Swanston St; several police bikes swooshed past followed by couples of vans guarded with flashing lights. Slowly, Eddie McGuire, dressed in a white sporting suit, carried the Queens Baton ran just past me! 13 days of Commonwealth Game is going to deploy in Melbourne, brings in liveliness and media flashing into our lives.

Cry to Bury

The text messages from last night are still lingering in my mind, repeating themselves again and again. I know I have done nothing wrong and should not be the one who has to suffer the punishment. Anyhow, my belief on friends could not stop me feeling dismay. Tears are hanging on my eyepits many times today already. Why should I be discriminated? B has been a friend of mine for quite some time, yet all the past laughs were bosh. I am not too stupid to tell what is real and fake, still, I treasure everyone I have around. I do need a good cry to bury this friendship.

A brutal lesson

I have always been confiding with others and am value friendship dearly, although I know a lot of them are merely connected but not engaged as in our friendship. Since I am found sick, I terribly need comfort from friends, and deliberately hiding the sickness I am having. In fact, I am not stupid enough to announce my sickness to everyone I know, only the closest friends know my problem. Last night, to my great disappointed yet not despair, B was scared off from knowing the nature of my sickness. I was astonished to see how people can change in a minute. He dropped off the line like I could be contagious over the phone. In the future, I should be more careful about whom I should trust, and not to tell any more people about my sickness. On the other hand, I am also amazed to see how little medical knowledge people have. They don’t know exactly what it is; they are just worried, they are just scared by the name. Oh well, I don’t think either of us want to be friends anymore. This is a brutal lesson to learn.

Bills Days

On Sunday, I went to Sydney Road Festival in Brunswick. The festival was far much bigger than the Lygon Street Festival. A number of stages were set up for different community gigs to play various nations’ rhythms. Local stalls were put up along the road side, selling middle eastern food and crafts. Brunswick has been a habitant suburb for middle eastern, especially migrants from Turkey and Nepal, for a long time. Occasionally, I like to stroll around this area in seeking for exotic food and digging good-buys from Op-shops.

One bill after another; money flows out without a trace recently. Almost half of what I earn goes to paying off all these water/gas/electricity/etc. bills. Being independent is not easy. Work-life, family, relationship and finance have all fallen out for you to handle. Sometimes I just feel it is too much.

My temp assignment will finish on next Tuesday. Oh well, I am not fuzzy or too disappointed about falling back to job seeking days again. I don’t want to, and have no energy to, be frustrated with capricious things again.

In contrast to my disappointment and stress, I am delighted that I will start taking only two antibiotics by the end of this week. Hooray! I don’t need to take the two most hated types of big pills anymore, hopefully.

Out of shape

I had a “happy hour” after work drink in this Friday evening. Most people from my office sat together in a beer garden, rambling about everything. Alcohol and ciggie is a must; pub parma is optional; an additional after drink AFL match is superlative. Anyway, we have been working hard for a whole week, counting down to seconds to the weekend, rewards is well adjusted. I feel like going back to first year Uni, getting pissed from Tuesday onwards, sitting in a big couch to watch nameless video till lost myself in a zonked out status. The distinct difference is, I am holding a soda lime and bitter instead of alcohol.

Since started working in an indoor environment, I have developed a very unhealthy way of living. Although I still keep going to gym once a week (under the supervision of K) and swimming as much as I can (however, can never exceed more than twice a week), I eat a lot of chips and unhealthy stuff at work. I gonna to stop living in this way, otherwise, I will be teased by K of being out of shape.

Pancake Day

Today is Pancake Day; it is a day of buying overpriced pancake as a way to donate money to disable people. I bought two pieces of pancake with excessive ice cream and maple topping. Too much sweet, which made me feel sick only after consuming the first piece. Hardly stuffed myself with half of the second piece, taste of sugaring was already flowing all over my esophagus. Ailsa was staring at me, seriously stating, “This is for charity … you have to finish it.” God! I chucked that half into fridge, pretended it would be my late afternoon snack. I did not finish it in the end; and it is still sitting in my office fridge, waiting to be thrown in the bin tomorrow.

Uni starts again. Walking pass the campus, I am feeling desolated and grey. Some of my friends are still in the ivory tower, enjoying their student lives. I don’t feel I belong to this place anymore. I am waiting to get well, and move on my life again.

Yesterday after work, a few of my colleagues took the same train home. One of my colleagues, Sacha, was telling us this hilarious joke about her smoking experience. At about fifteen/sixteen, and the circumstance was in a family party, she somehow stole a pack of ciggie from one of her family friends. She not only smoked, what was more, she smoked in front of a mirror, wanted to see how cool she was. After lighting a cigarette, posing exquisitely in front of the mirror and breathing out the first smoke, she saw her dad’s image reflecting in the mirror! She not only got scolded, but also had to go to apologize to the family friends who she stole the pack from.

My girlie topics are now centred around family, BF, dating and weekends. I am not a big fan of this sort of lives, yet could not be escapable from talking about it with my colleagues. This is not my world, but I have to adopt to live in it for the time being.