十年如一日

I had an appointment with my favourite lecturer, Sally Young, to talk about my essay. She showed me her PHD research. Woo~~~thick as a brick. She is specialised in political communication, and she is so anti-politics that all her thesis are against current political acts. In her research, she analyses every single ads the government has put on, detailed to the ads’ scripts. When I closed her door, I suddenly had a feeling that I may end up doing the same thing as her --- being confined in a square room and sitting in front of the computer for the whole day!

My eyes are very soar these days. My tears keep running out and I have times seeing things blur. I am computer overdose. I cant imagine one day if I don’t have computer how can I live. All my friends, all my memorable moments will be lost in the cyberspace. I criticise cyber society, however, I cant live without it.  

Today’s Quote:
If you didn’t start the day with a smile, it is not too late to start practising for tomorrow (written for me as I get a small pay rise from next week :>).

Information overloaded

Everyday, I am bombarding with tones of information. This afternoon I had a headache when I build up a new section (course related links) in my blog. There are so much things I need to know to get good mark for my subjects. Can I digest? Will I get choke-out? Jing Min, my assistant, told me yesterday that five years of university life passed by just like a week. Everyday we are stuffed with piles of books, having endless of group discussion and attending various of “helpful” tutorials. Life is dry, I complain, I cry, I yell, but I cannot escape. Time management, information selection, stress relief, confident, ambitious, etc. are essential for me to build up my unique personality. The skill I learn in Uni is more than the knowledge I take in. What do I get when I out of here?

Today's Quote:
I had to throw caution to the wind, live life for what it was worth.

Need a Hug

Uni life surprises me everyday, I feel like a first year student that finds everything fancy and excited. I have been reviewing what I had done in my first half of uni life, which was a sort of “Blank”! Actually I had tried to work in different media areas to find my position, but I did not enjoy doing most of them. I also had a period of time that was heavily indulged in alcoholic-pub life and did a lot of silly things. This semester will definitely been different and hopefully more enjoyable.

In a lecture class that everyone is a sort of knowing everyone is quite fun and competitive. Marketing Communication is those kind of class. Almost every Media & Comm students are taking this subject as it is the rarely practical and fun subject in our course. I am not criticising my course, however, I can not stand those boring theoretical culture study subjects. Those subjects are all inter-related and you only need to take no more than two to master their ideologies.

In Melbourne Uni, there are so many talented people around you that always make you feel awkward. I am always proud of my excellence in many ways, however, rubbing my eyes open to look around, I am just a simple girl in this talented academic pool. What I can do is said in Today’s Quote.

Last night I had conducted a 3 hours workshop on event management with SALP. As I have done this before, I a sort of know what should be done and things like that. For me, liasing for sponsorship is the weakness part. I should get my hands more “dirty” at my project with Boite by the end of this year.

School only starts for a few days, I already in the state of under sleep. ^~^ don’t want ah!! Still remember last year I wept over for doing my assignment during October. Terrify! Now I just want to throw myself onto bed and have a nice dream. 

Today’s Quote:
Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them.

Feeling sick!

Big Brother 4 was over eventually. This year’s Big Brother has made a lot of publicity that Channel Ten program producer wants to see: Merlin’s “Free the Refugee” action; the wrongly counted eviction of Bree; and the political irresponsible conversation in the house. I didn’t watch much BB this year as I have already sick of it, however, all those unexpected makes this program is still rated in the top ten program in Australia. The Block was also finished on Sunday night, which, compared to long old Big Brother, looked humble among all those crappy reality TV programs.

This morning I woke up and feeling sorb in my body trunks. Maybe I am not used to my sudden sport plan and I didn’t have enough sleep last night. I start to feel the pressure from school now. The heavy work load suddenly presses to me. 

Today’s Quote:
Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.

First day back to Uni

Today, I went to swim in half-asleep. It was not as tired as expected but I felt a bit itchy through out the rest of the day. My skin is very sensitive to chloride in the water. Already want to quit after the first day! But it is too late now, I have to swim for the next four months. What a torture!!! ◊‘º∫ƒ√ø‡¿¥ ‹.

I am still in holiday mood and have no motivation to do any reading. Every time I think of sitting in front of the computer and read heaps of books till late at school, I feel shaking.

Uni suddenly becomes liveliness. I am happy to meet many old friends in my course, especially in Marketing Communications. Almost half of the class are the people I know. The good thing of Media & Comm is after one year, you will know most of the students in this course. It is such a small group of aliens in Uni.

I am going to take two dance classes this semester. Sun, the 17-year-old medicine student takes most of the dance styles. I want to worship him.

Today’s Quote:
Humour is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Start of my semester swim plan

Today I paid for Melbourne uni’s AquaFit membership. I am a quick decision maker, from decide to pay all happen within three hours. The motivation is from my mum. This morning I complained to my mum about how tired I feel after work, I always sleep in the other day. Then she told me that was unhealthy and I must get fit. That is true. When I was in high school I used to be very sporty and never worry about this or that kind of sickness. So I ran straight to school after I hung up the phone and pay to become a semester member. I hope I can swim at least four times a week for a semester. Stop being a slacker, simple girl!

I also want to learn Karate. It is the cheapest sport in Uni and is very good for girls as I can learn to protect myself. But I know I can not commit so many things at a time: I am already the member of Dancesport and have dance classes twice a week. So much so other commitments I have, I have to put my Karate plan off to summer holiday or next year.

Is it card game counted as a kind of sport? My Dad’s answer is “Yes.” In the phone, my mum told me Dad was having a sport day again with his department, which is a card game. I bet must be his idea to make this game as a sport.

I talked with my mum for an hour or so. It was rare for me to talk with her like that because for a long time I had been hating her some reasons. I even put curse on her. I know it was disgrace. I don’t want to have children, as I fear I would have my retribution from my children.

School starts tomorrow. I am looking forwards to seeing my friends again!

Today’s Quote:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

Alone @ home

Last night, I stayed at home only by my own. A bit scary because I am not used to the quiet. I became more paranoia since our flat was rod. However, I still can myself a legend as I walked back home from Uni at mid-night after the gangster shooting case happened.

Nothing touch heart things has happened these two days. Yesterday, Pauline, Caroline’s Aunt my former manager, brought her kids to our place and they were going to ski tomorrow. So jealous! I have never seen real snow yet. But I don’t want to go with them coz I know it must be very boring.

Today's Quote:
I try to be sporty!

Super Lzay day

I received an email from Jacky, my closest male friend in China, saying that I could call him any time I want because he had already finished his exams. Yes, it is ANY TIME coz the last few times I called him was after mid-night when he was half-asleep. I don’t have much luck in my life so far, but God is graceful enough to give me so many heartful friends. They gave me lights when I was dump, and pointed out my weaknesses straight away without any hesitation. True friends not only will go through hard time with you, but also criticise you without fearing of loosing the friendship.

I didn’t go out at all yesterday. What I did was eat and sleep. This kind of “relaxing” is a torture to me. It is called laziness and makes me feel even tired. SOHO type of job will not be suitable for me unless I can work in a place like my dream house. Strangely, I start to inspect properties recently. There is one a few houses after where I am living, very luxurious and went for auction today. I went down to have a look and it was sold for AU$920,000! That is why it is advertised as “everyone’s dreamed house” because we can have it only while we are dreaming.

We had a conversation about how spoiled Australian is at work. The bar man said after coming back from Romania, he wanted to give a punch to his friend who was complaining money and “heavy” work-load. In many countries, because of corruption, people are living in a clearly class society. It can be poverty with an extreme splendid house next door. I have heard of this a lot. There is one girl I know she even quit her psychology job because she could not stand people to complain about how small the house they are living in and all those kind of foolish problems. Australian takes everything for granted and always want more and better. It is like some rich spoiled kids, they never know how lucky they are. I do not blame them and have no jealous towards them. Inevitably, human always wants better.

Last night I had done a shameful thing – asked my dad to buy a digital camera for me. Maybe you think it is a reasonable thing, but for me, it is very shameful. I try my best to be financial independent since I started uni. I know my parents can afford whatever I ask them to buy for me, but I want them to use those money they have saved, not me! This is mutual love. I remember there was once I discussed with a 23-year-old about how a wedding ceremony bill should be divided between two families. He said “Parents of each side should pay a quarter of the bill.” My reaction was aggressive and told him off straight away: “I won’t ask my parents to pay.” I looked down on this guy since that time. 

Today’s Quote:
Everyone who got where he is, had to begin where he was.

my dream house

Life is full of miraculous so we should enjoy it

I have gained some weight in this month-long holiday. I didn’t over-eat, even I wanted to my stomach doesn’t allow me to do so, but I was definitely stress free. A lot of small things have been done and I find more about my inner self. Hopefully my life and personal perspective will change in Sem 2.

Having my hair dyed a few weeks ago which turned out to have no change, I tried again last night. It really damaged my hair but, for beauty’s sake, I want to be IN. The colour is red. Under the sun or if I give $20 to Bob (Jan’s BF), my hair can be seen a bit red now. Ai, I still cannot be IN ^~^.

Frankly speaking, I am not an IN person, sometimes, I cannot be counted as a normal girl. I have strong characteristic that always want to do whatever I want to do. The reason for me to be depressed for such a long time is because I lost my confidence about the things I am doing. I don’t know what I like and what I want to do. On top of that, I didn’t want to wonder on the street day after day and a sort of enjoying my life. You can’t find your way as people walking pass you towards a destination they know where it is. That feeling is so horrible. At that time, I kept asking stupid questions to Lord: Why are there so many indifferent people out there? Why do they construct civil societies? … Finally, finally, I am over my depression now. I have learnt that no matter how worse the situation is, I should not loose my confidence! Stay away to observe life is sinfulness.

I start to like collecting badges recently, like the days when I was a kid I collected different rubbers. I was teased by my best friend Lina for putting a cute badge on my school bag. The excitement I showed was totally a 16-year-old high school girl behaviour. Ai… I still haven’t grown up yet. I admit, in a way, I am maturer than my real age can sustain, but for most of the time, I am still a kid. I need someone to look after me.

I kept bumping into a guy recently, but I won’t contact him again. Maybe next time, if I could see him again, I will ask him to give me the contact details before he goes back to work in Singapore. 

Yesterday I had ice cream. Don’t be surprise or something of me to put such a little matter here. I had been longing for ice cream since last Saturday. My eager evoked at a sudden that I wanted to have McDonald Sundae, not bubble cup or boost juice. The odd thing is I find out there is someone has the same eager as me at the same time! A small world.

School starts next week. The campus becomes busy again. Hmmm… I still like the quietness in Uni, everywhere from south lawn to union house, from north court to Monash road. From next week on, I have to wait in a queue for using computer; I have to squash to find a seat for lunch; I have to run from one side of the campus to another; I have to have endless meeting. I should paint my uni life with colour instead of covering with grey.

My stomach is getting better now but I can’t eat too full at a time, and have to drink a lot of water everyday.  

Today’s Quote:
Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly.

CTG 2004 camp

I haven’t been really angry for a long time, not even for my ex-. In most of the time I try my best to be nice, have no complains for doing extra works or have true sympathy for others. But this time I was so grumpy with my flatmates that I could not control my temper anymore. I find myself change within a few days time. Witnessing human’s indifference, this simple girl see herself as such a fool and naïve person. If I keep silent, the situation will never change. The viable solution to prevent small problem become large is to express your opinion instead of taking everything for granted. The former me put up with others again and again without a fineline and never expressed the opinion in a serious way. I have to learn to protect myself not to be hurt. I don’t mean I must be in the dominant position in every situation. The thing is, I must have my own opinion and fineline that I am not a doll that listens to or believes whatever the others say. However, the other side of me will question “Am I being too harsh to others?” I am worrying too much and taking on too much others’ worries and responsibility. That is why I have never been happy. Now I have changed, definitely! I can’t find the motivation that makes me change. It is like a sudden click in my mind.
 
Disappeared for a few days, the simple girl came back from Geelong Anglesea on Sunday. Having Average 4hr sleep per day, the simple girl was now weeping in front of the computer with consistently yawing. It was a three-day-two-night Melbourne Uni CTG camp. My comment is – FUN. We didn’t do much play preparation in the camp. Most of them are Hongkies, that means they can play crazily. We had heaps of funs in different activities and games. Treasure hunting and spy games are the most memorable. The team I was in was called MilkShake with production director Andy (我上司) as team leader. There was not surprise that our team won for the overall activities and competition. We are all smart people and had good team teamwork in finding the murderer in the spy games. The designs of games are graded for A+++. We ran into different rooms to find clues and asked stupid questions to those relevant people (their acting skills were professional) to reconstruct the whole murder story. The camp was less organised than SALP, but I had more fun in it. I am looking forward to seeing our production on, which is on early October.
 
One of the outdoor activities in the camp was canoeing. 20 of us had great fun in an Anglesea creek. Although the water was freezing cold and it rained for a short while, we still played water in the creek. Haha…lucky none of us capsized. Another non-schedule outdoor activities was meteor hunt! The sky in Geelong stretches to the horizon without seeing any electric lights. Last night 1:00am, five of us (can’t remember who they are) were breathing in the cold to wait for meteor. I saw two, and Samet saw eleven! On the way back, we were arguing which ones should be southern cross.
 
I am pretty childish somehow. I wish the person I like would think the same way as me. I may offend some people in a way that I don’t know. I have a sincerely sorry for them if I have done something to annoy them.
Yesterday, I realized my weakness more by reading an email. At this stage of life, I should receive more instructions and kind critics on my attitude. I don’t want to be negative again or be the one who are in the middle of nowhere. I am full of gratitude to that person. Many times when I nearly lost myself in the darkness, it was his words that gave me lights to grab hold with. 
 
Today’s Quote:

Confidence imparts a wonderful inspiration to its possessor.

Came back from camp

Sorry for not updating my blog for a while. I just came back from Geelong yesterday and forgot to bring my article to school for updating (I have no internet access at home). I will update my article tomorrow. I had heaps of fun in CTG camp! Photos will be uploaded soon.

Op-shop shopping

 
惨啦!惨啦! I have the common symptom as most of the media personnel (as what Janice mentioned in her blog). When I watch TV, I pay attention to what product placement they put into the program rather than the program content; when I listen to radio, I listen to what ad they put at that time slot and how they present it; when I read newspaper (e.g. MX), I look at what industry put their ads on this paper; …… When can I entertain myself?
 
I am cheerful and confident today, because I am given a media job offer from a non-for-profit organization, in a Volunteer based. I will start doing marketing, writing public release, liaising, and coordinating small events in November, which is after Sem2. I don’t want to start my media job in a commercial organisation first, as they are commercial that they will not teach you much higher up things. I don’t want to be a 打杂, doing phone calling or data entry. Anyway, nothing will happen till November. I better concentrate on CTG at this stage.
 
Today I went op-shop shopping on Smith St. Many people may think: er ~ second-hand stuff, only poor people buy it. For me, I like op-shop not because I am poor (every student is poor in a way. Remember, that is our parents’ money!), but I can find many antique stuffs. In Hong Kong, I could spend a day in a street that sells antiques. The excitement you have when you dig something out of stacks of dusty old things are amazing. If I miss Melbourne, that must be Brunswick St, Smith St, and Royal PDE.
 
Today’s Quote:

10% off everything
40% off something
60% off little things 
 

A Spastic Girl

I am proud myself of having an unbelievable good memory, however, I am spastic sometimes. Yesterday, I locked myself out because I put my key in one bag and I took the other bag out. I had to call my flatmate back as I had to go to work at 6pm. There was one time that I was already out the door and suddenly found I could not see things clearly, then I realised that I forgot to wear my glasses! “You are spastic, woman!” I am always teased by my flatmates.

I bumped into Raymond yester afternoon. Just a day before I sent an email to Candy asking about his internship in a PR firm, now I could ask him straight away. He told me he just did cold calling for 30+ times then he was given two interviews. Finally he got two-week internship in one company on Collin St, unpaid. What he did was pretty basic, I had done that last year in my internship. Indeed, I was even in a higher up level. I attended the brainstorm meeting, write proposal, and meeting the client. I believe if I want to find an internship in a PR firm in Melbourne will be very easy. Unpaid skilled labour wo! I have already got the firms’ contact details and strategy suggestions from career centre. However, I just hold them there in my hands now because I know I will be very busy in Semester 2.

In this holiday, I have read some Cost Management subject readings and have a rough idea of what this accounting stuff about. I know I can do well in accounting or finance subjects. They are all about maths and some logics. For media, I have to find topics, research, and analysis. My language skill is only in basic level. Studying media gives me a lot of hard times. I am used to go to sleep for only 4 hours during assignment time. BUT I don’t want to do something I am not interested in doing. I only live once; wasting time to do things I hate is a grief.

“人走茶凉” is definitely a classic saying. I am very affective (I am not sure if this is the right word). I cry every time when I say goodbye to someone I will not see again in a short while. In June, I wanted to organise a central OZ trip reunion. However, these days people are too selfish or just don’t want to be bothered. Ai~~, Jeff, the guy helped me to set up my tent every time, could only remember me as a 19-year-old. My admire leader ~~~ forget about it.

I am very happy these two days, even Melbourne is in grey colour and everyone seems to be blue. I know I have made a right decision and all my thoughts are right. I have learnt a lesson that I should believe myself and be firm at an appropriated time.

I think I should see a doctor soon. Today, my stomach gets worse again, I feel like I am filled with gas and always want to vomit.

Today’s Quote:

Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create that fact.

Speak up!

I am really burning out because of the constant work and busy schedule that I have set for myself in this mid-year semester break. I have yet to really relax and celebrate the end of half year’s hardship. I haven’t even gone out to have drinks with my Aussie friends. I feel sorry for Kath and Ant as they have been asking me out several times but I am really full on and work, work and work. I miss them. It is odd that although we live in the same city and physically so close to each other, we still can’t meet up that often. There are a lot of changes in this year. I hardly have time to hang out with them and seem to bounce back to Asian group. I miss out the good time we spent getting drunk in Brunswick Hotel and got kicked out in the morning.

Suddenly, I feel grieved for journalisms when I was reading a newspaper during working (I am really bad, right? Hehe). A stack of paper, filled with so many good articles and in-depth analysis, can only live for 24 hours. It will be chucked into rubbish bin on the other day. Its life is even shorter than insects!

I suppose all the suffering now will be beneficial to me in the future but my current state of mind just wants enjoy a nice meal! I wish I could enjoy every meal when my digestion gets better soon, hopefully. I should take good care of my stomach from now on if I don’t want to suffer when I become old. For next semester, I should not arrange any classes in lunchtime and try to eat three proper meal everyday.

I realize that I am pretty hesitate to express my own opinion to other people. This is mainly due to my education background. No matter how good my idea is, I just keep silent. It makes me feel unhappy for a lot of times. After being train in SALP camp and several times of being a leader in different positions, I tell myself I have to be tough for some times. Being too kind is my greatest weakness. Tonight, I told my opinion about doing housework to my flatmates. I feel very relief after saying what is in my heart. Although they are older than me, I am not their sister or mother, I should not do all the work myself. I am not a super girl.

Today’s Quote:

我觉得悲伤.被选择的人只有坐着让命运选择是否宠幸于他/她.原来”可以选择”和”懂得选择”并非天赋人权,他们必须经过上一代青春的牺牲才有机会存在.
I feel sad. Human can only wait for good luck to come to their fate. The opportunity to “choose” and “know how to choose” can not come up naturally, it existed because of the sacrifice from last generation.

CTG play

I never worry about my skin condition, not until yesterday. When I look in the mirror, I was shocking to see some small moles and big pimples on my face. I know what the problem is --- my digested system is very bad these days. My stomach keep tumbling and aching for a few weeks now. These two days I could only consume 粥. Poor me! I have been taking a lot of medicine since April. I even had my hair cut to stop my horrible hair drop. Last winter, I was struggling with sickness; this year is still the same. For me, Melbourne is not a liveable city.

Today, I start to read CTG mandarin production script. I read <家> when I was 14 years old. At that time, I admired to 觉慧’s ambition, and scolded觉新 for being a coward. Now I reread this book, I felt觉慧 is too emotional driven, and 觉新 chooses or has to choose the “right way” for his life. I know I become maturer now, I will see things from more angles. I am not here by myself. My family, my friends and people who have helped me are all very important to me. I am learning to sacrifice. The joyfulness time in life is to see people you love are living happily.
I never worry about my skin condition, not until yesterday. When I look in the mirror, I was shocking to see some small moles and big pimples on my face. I know what the problem is --- my digested system is very bad these days. My stomach keep tumbling and aching for a few weeks now. These two days I could only consume 粥. Poor me! I have been taking a lot of medicine since April. I even had my hair cut to stop my horrible hair drop. Last winter, I was struggling with sickness; this year is still the same. For me, Melbourne is not a liveable city.

Last night, I had a very funny conversation with my flatmates. The topic is about toilet paper. We discuss what kind of tissue is the most suitable material for toilet paper. Hahaha…we ended up to discuss whether marketing or media people are more reliable in public sphere. The answer is: neither. Media is no longer a “watch dog” because of all those cash-for-comment scandals; and marketing people have never been trustable. Ahi…this commercial unescaped society. Still today, I am day-dreaming to live in the ancient time. Less complicated, and I can wear those fancy long ancient skirts :>

Today’s Quote:

My self-reflection (actually, mine situation is even worse than this) :
连续两个星期,书桌摊着至少八本划着重要引文的书, 床上按类别铺满参考书, 影印资料和从网络上列印下来的文章. 作在桌前至少需要两支红笔, 一支黄色荧光笔, 因为我随时都会不小心把其中一支夹在某本书里. 生活只剩下理论理论理论, 不只一次在电脑前因为deadline的压力而有想哭出来的冲动.
For two weeks, on my table there were at least 8 books filled with high-lighted lines; books, photo-copied pages and articles printed from webs were scattered on my bed. I need at least two red pen and one high-lighter, because I would always left one in a book somewhere in my mess. Live was only left with theory after theory. For couples of times, I wanted to cry in front of the computer because of the deadline stress.

The 20+ youth

Nowadays, the 20s somehow have a sort of similarity: they don’t want to go out to work; no idea about future career path; indulge in relationship mess up; ambitious accompanied with laziness. When I read my treasure blogs, I find a lot of self-reflections in their writings. I feel bored even though I have a lot plans that should be disclosed. Working in an actual workplace is not ass good as what I have expected to be, I could only do some basic works, like doing legworks for the media department. I really enjoy reading these two treasure girls’ blog stories.

I used to dream to become a journalist, but not anymore now. I can not stand to breach the moral line; I can not stand running around the city street to find my program story; I can not stand 25 hours a day of work… there are heaps of other things that I cant stand. I admit I am too spoiled. A girl was born in a city, living in a civil society that all her comforts are supported by those small touched personal stories.

This Melbourne Sunday weather is fabulous!

Today's Quote:

一个晚上,男孩只抽烟不说话.女孩的心也越来越凉
For the whole night, that guy said nothing but smoking. The girl felt very disappointed.

『连挽留都不会表达的情人能给我什么样的快乐？』
”How this guy brings happiness to me if he could just say something?”

A day in Footscray

I cooked yesterday --- one dish only. The dish I cooked was spinach and mushroom
with butter. Please don’t laugh. If you know me well, you know that I never cook a proper meal. I like to invite people to come to my flat to cook for me and I do the dishes. Still, yesterday’s cooking can not stimulate my cooking passion. I am not a patient person, I can not wait until the meat/vegie are well cooked. Also, as a student with heavy study load and extra curriculum activities, I do not have time to cook a dinner for 2 hours, shopping and preparing is not counted.

Yesterday, Kim and me went to Footscray. We saw a lot of exotic Vietnamese food and don’t know most of them. Although I have been to Footscray several times before, this was my first time to roaming around this Vietnamese district. The food in Footscray market (FM) was cheap that instinct our pulse to buy stuff for cooking.

Life can be fun if I open my door and step out. A few days ago I was sighing for boring, and strolling in Brunswick St alone. Today, I could have so much fun of building up a new friendship.

I don’t feel like I am in holiday now. I have been so busy since my exam finished. Let me think what I have done so far:
 CVA
 VCE winter school
 Career update brochure
 CTG called up for backstage crew
 Reading a lot of books
 Change my life perspective and way of studying
 Working
So far so good, and I should have some relaxing time to Canberra on September break.

Today’s Quote:

有时我们实在需要抱着爆米花走进电影院看部没负担但好看的电影. Sometimes, we really have a need to walk into a cinema to watch a silly but entertaining movie with pop corns in hands.

Dream to have baby

There was one night I had a dream that I was holding my baby in my hands. I love the little babe so much that I kissed her/him with passionate love. Normally I could not remember my dream in the other day, but I remember this one so well that I still feel my love to her/him in my heart. I frankly confess I don’t like to have children, at least not within ten years time. This thought is very common in our youth generation because we don’t want to take responsibility. Three kinds of youth value segments (“Young Optimism”, “Look at Me” and “ A Farier Deal”) have the same characteristics: resist to grow up! When I was a teenager, I want to accelerate the time machine; but now, I not only want to slow it down but stop it if I can. Sadly, time division is the same, no ambiguous. The only reason I will have baby in a short time is because I need money ($3000 lump sum pay off from Australia government since 1st July)!

Yesterday the conservation outdoor project was great. People in this project were very friendly. I also saw wild kangaroo in the forest. The green peace people invited us to have BBQ in a kiosk in the middle of the reserve area again.

Today’s Quote:

几乎所有的朋友都表达了不愿长大的心愿.时间依然如斯前进, 毫不含糊.只是概叹是没有用的. 我们都会长大, 都会变老. 时间不过如此.
Most of my friends wish not to grow up, however, time is still going forward, no ambiguous. There is no need to sigh. Eventually, we will all grow up; we will all become old. Time is time.

People! Show your manner, please.

I have been working in restaurants as a part-time waitress for 3 years. When it comes to be very busy, I will swear. I admit that I become a very different person while I am working, and all those swear words are all learnt from work. That is why I choose not to work that much even I am in holiday now. Good money is true, but I used my physical not my mind. Anyway, back to the subject I am going to talk about today. Do any of you say “please” or “Thank you” when you are ordering? Do any of you put your chair back under the table before you leave? Many of these small little manners make a great difference to the people who serve you. At least I will bless those who do this to me. If you have never worked in a restaurant before, you may not know how much we appreciate for what you have done. It shows 素养of a person.

My digestion system becomes so bad since last Thursday. Today, I have to take the special medicine again. I hate to take this medicine coz it may make me dizzy and sweat. But…I have to take it, otherwise, I feel even worse.

Last night I felt the heavy load of study for my next semester. My study will be very heavy and painful. I can still feel the pain from my foot --- I dropped my Advertising and Promotion bulky book on my foot!!!

Today’s Quote:

每个人在生活中一定要找到一些可以让自己眼睛一亮的事物,让细胞活化重生. 只有认真对待自己喜欢的东西, 生活才有可能真正亮起来.

Congratulations

Bless you! Bless you! I was very happy to receive a phone call from Candy yesterday telling me that she received an offer from Hong Kong University Faculty of Arts. Thanks God. When she was at the edge of hopelessness, good things finally hunt her down. I see a miracle happened in my life. I did not trust miracle before, now I will never give up hope if I still have will in my heart.

She is a smart girl, a lot better than me. In first year of uni, she had got above H2A while she was working more than 20 hrs a week. I felt very sad at the time she had put off her study because she could not afford to stay in Melbourne any more. In last 6 months, she must have suffered a lot. A 19-year-old, wondering in a world city, try to find her place in the society without even a degree. How can you complete with those degree holders? Those MBAs? Those wealthy people? Who wants to work in a restaurant for a life? Suddenly, rainbow comes into her life. Life hopes to be easier for her now.

Take a look at myself, I start to change myself from now on. I have already half-way through my course, I can’t see myself have done much or improve a lot. I can’t stay in the same place and see my friends are all moving forwards. I have already come up with a list of what I need to do everyday and what I have to achieve by the end of this year.

Candy also told me Raymond got an internship in a top PR company. Maybe I should contact Peter Collingwood and see if he can give me any opportunity.

In Australia, appearance is very important. I am too casual to myself and life, that is why I always have low mark for my work. I am not lazy, I just take things too easy and treat them careless. For most of the time, I want to finish one thing as soon as possible, regardless the quality. By admitting my weakness, I am forced to change!

I hear more and more voices about life, career, relationship, etc. around me now. Suddenly, I find myself have already transit from teenage to adulthood. I have to find my own position in the society by listening to others opinion but not totally take up what they say. I can’t be as simple minded as I once was. No one is going to take care of you when you grow up (sigh~~~).

I don’t want to go to work tonight coz I had talked with Candy for 3 hours last night (from 2am~5am). Super sleepy. Hang on, I have one more thing to say, Greece wins Euro2004. WT? I think euro soccer will change climate from now on.

Today’s Quote:

Never give up hope when you are alive.

Euro2004 soccer

Euro2004 final will be on next Monday Australia time. Woo… time flies so fast! I didn’t even notice when it began. My memory flashed back four years on the mid-night of watching Euro2000 in 筱艺’s apartment. That night we woke up at around 2:00am and found out there was no reception for any TV channel! His dad moved around the antenna and finally received a domestic sport channel. The quality was not very good, and the voice over was mandarin, but we were all happy because --- Better than none. I clearly remember that I looked across the window to another household, only to see snowflake on their TV screen. We should have no complain la. The match is between Italy and France (none of it get into semi-final this year). Italia kicked in one goal first, and France didn’t seem to have clue to break through the Italian defense net. After watching for 85 min, we all thought Italy would win and we could go to sleep soon. Soccer in that year was quite miracle, soccer players always kick in the ball in the last minute. So, we had to watch extra time. So, France was certainly the winner. So, we went to sleep at 4:00am. 筱艺 and me were like a child (we were still teenage child indeed), lying on bed and kept talking. Normally we did not talk that much coz we were not very good friends. But that night we really talked a lot of things, which I had forgot all of them, hehehe.

Yeah, it will be great if I can find some friends to watch Euro soccer final in a pub. Otherwise, I can only read the winner on next day’s headline. SBS says it will not broadcast Euro2004 because it affects the commercial profit of Foxtel. Ai…commercial! I have no more comment.

Talking about Portugal, I think of an admirable person there --- Simon Head. It has been 2 years since he left Melbourne. I see him on MSN sometimes, but I never talk to him. Hmm… maybe next time when I see him online, I should ask him how about the Protégée chick(en) and soccer.

Yesterday, I went down to a Swatch Shop on Collin St. to buy a new band for
swatch my 3D swatch bought in H.K. 2 years ago. It cost me Au$20 which is not bad. Now my old watch looks like brand new. I asked the shop assistant did the Touch theme swatch sells good. She said: “Yes, especially the bunny one (the sexy theme) is actually sold out.” Oh gee, how come these days young people all like sex, gay and suicide theme kind of stuff. Ai…Post-modernism century. I have no comment again.

Today's Quote:

A life spent making mistakes is not only one more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

Too weak to stand up

I had a severe stomachache this morning. I was aching, sweating, dazzling, groaning and shaking in my bed because of my stomach. I have had this kind of pain for several time this year, but this time is the worst one. I am still suffering when I was having my tute. So it didn’t turn out very good as I was talking emotionlessly.

I got back my final research essay from my favourite subject Understanding Australian Media. It is P!! I am so angry that I will have to discuss with Sally, the lecturer of this subject rather than Ron, my tutor. Ron knows a lot about media, but he is not a good tutor. How can’t you make any comments after reading a 2000 words essays? My essay paper is like haven’t been touched, the only changed is it is marked with a P. I feel like an offence. I shouldn’t write good comments of him in the evaluation form.

Hmm… I am thinking what I can get from my Dad from Athens.

Today's Quote:

在和朋友吃饭聊天时,最常发表不负责任的言论,诸如找人嫁掉,旅行,一个人住等等,却极少讨论到现实生活中有待面对的许多琐碎问题……问题就在于虽然我们向往不劳而获,可是这也只是对平凡生活的无聊幻想,我们太清楚知道就算找到了愿意供养自己的那个人,为了留住他/她而去耗费更多心机力气可能要比自食其力还要难上百倍.(张玮栩,《自己的房间》）。